Every Little Piece of Him Page 15

  His hands stilled, and he set her on her feet, unsuccessfully trying to hide his smile. "That's the stupidest accusation."

  She reached over and pulled the small strainer out of the sink. "The evidence is right here."

  This morning, she'd caught him pouring the juice through a strainer before drinking all the liquid.

  Anders picked up his empty glass. "I drank it."

  "Not before you removed the pulp." She laughed. "I've never heard of someone doing that before. Orange juice is orange juice. Why don't you drink the pulp?"

  "I don't like things floating in anything I drink."

  "Did your grandma or aunt do that for you as a kid?" she asked

  He shook his head. "I grew up in boys' homes run by the state."

  She dropped the strainer in the sink and gawked at him. "You've never told me that before. I knew you didn't know your parents, but I assumed you'd grown up with relatives caring for you."

  "It is what it is." He kissed her. "I need to go oversee the deliveries. Are you staying up here?"

  "No, I'm going to go out and walk through the motorhome to make sure I took all of my stuff out of there before Sofia and Tom arrive today." She snagged his wrist, unable to let the bomb he'd dropped fade away. "So, you don't know who your parents are or have any relatives? How did I not know that?"

  Granted, he was a quiet man that never shared things out of the blue, but growing up an orphan was a huge thing. When he said he had no brothers or sisters, she thought he grew up an only child. When he mentioned he never knew his parents, she was afraid of asking if he'd lost them in a car accident.

  She'd assumed he grew up being raised by his grandparents or an aunt.

  Having grown up with friends who came from divorced families and even living with their grandparents, she had never known anyone who was given away. And, to have the state be in charge of your care, well, she couldn't imagine.

  Families that she knew took care of each other. Heaven help her, but if her sister and Tom had a child and something happened to Sofia, she'd step forward and take care of her niece or nephew.

  He shrugged. "It's no big deal, and now you know."

  Her chest squeezed as she smiled sadly. She opened her mouth to tell him how confusing it must've been to have grown up alone and closed her lips, changing her mind. It was obviously in Anders' past. He'd been an adult longer than a child.

  Instead, she blurted, "Do you ever want your own family?"

  "I've got you. That's all I need." He kissed her again. "Come and find me when you're done."

  He walked out of the kitchen and turned left in the hallway. She remained behind, knocked off her good mood by learning more about him. He'd succeeded in his life despite the rough beginning. He owned Stone Lair and surrounded himself with employees and strangers who needed somewhere to let loose and have a good time.

  In his own way, he'd created a world where he could be a loner, without being lonely. No wonder he had a hard time sharing his feelings.

  She blew out her cheeks and walked into the bedroom to get her boots and coat. He might not think his past mattered, but it only made her love him more. While she pitied the child in him that had gone through life by himself, she admired the man who had accomplished so much.

  Going out the upstairs door, she took the stairs to the parking lot behind Stone Lair. Her boots crunched through the hard surface on the snow. She peered up at the gray sky, hoping the next bout of snow would hold off until her sister arrived and then reached home safely.

  Looking over her shoulder, she spotted Anders standing by a large delivery truck and waved. It was just like him to make an excuse to be outside, making sure she was okay.

  She walked across the slick, snow-covered asphalt to the RV. Fumbling with the keys in the lock, her fingers already slowing because of the cold temperature, she managed to open the door and jumped into the motorhome, shutting herself inside.

  "Brr..." She rubbed her hands together. The inside was as cold as the outside.

  She looked around on every surface, in the drawers and cabinets, and under the couch where she often stuffed her belongings. Finding only a hairband and a sheet of music, she relocked the RV.

  A low whine came from behind her. She turned around not seeing anything. When the pitiful noise came again, she squatted down and looked under the motorhome, spotting a dog hiding behind the back wheel.

  "Hey there, doggy. What are you doing?" She put her hand out, wiggling her fingers. "Come here."

  The cream-colored fluffy dog scooted back. Knowing the dog was someone's pet, and it was probably freezing, she folded the music sheet and put it in her pocket before getting on her hands and knees to crawl under the motorhome.

  "Il?" yelled Anders.

  "Over here." She inched forward under the frame, lowering her voice. "Come here, pooch."

  The dog, unable to retreat because of the snow piled up behind the RV, laid its head down and whined. Iliana stretched out on her belly, hooking the dog's collar with her finger. Pulling the dog to her chest, she wrapped her arms around its quivering body.

  "Damnit, Il. Where are you?"

  She kicked her feet, hoping Anders could see her. "Under the motorhome."

  The dog buried its head into her coat and shivered. She murmured low, reassuringly, and wondered how she was going to crawl out holding the pooch when her legs were grasped, and she slid across the snow backward.

  She laughed softly, rolling to her back, keeping ahold of the dog. "We made a chain of rescues."

  Anders backed away, lowering himself to a crouch as if to attack. She kicked her feet, rocking herself into a sitting position without using her hands.

  "No, go slow. Put the dog down," whispered Anders, holding out his hand. "Come to me."

  She stilled, never hearing Anders' voice tremble before. He gazed intently at her chest. Holding the dog up, she said, "I found—"

  "Don't move." He held his fists up and shifted closer. "Don't. Fucking. Move."

  The deadly quiet order startled her. Her heart raced, blocking out the cold ground underneath her and the quietness of the snow-covered area.

  He sprang forward, grabbing the dog by the fur, and tossed the pooch through the air.

  "Anders!" Iliana gasped, watching the dog arch upward and fall into a snow drift.

  Shocked that he would do such a thing to a small dog, she struggled to her feet and hurried to make sure it was okay.

  Anders caught her around the waist, pulling her backward before she could reach the pup. She dragged her feet, seeing the dog wiggle trying to get out of the snow bank.

  "What are you—?"

  "Hurry." Anders turned and ran toward the Lair carrying her.

  Jostled against him, hanging from his arm, each breath stolen from her, she couldn't breathe.

  Black dots framed her vision until suddenly he thrust her away from him and forced her to stand on her own. She staggered, panting to refill her lungs. Hands clutched her arms, hauling her upper body straight.

  She stared at the stranger Anders had become in front of her.

  "Are you okay?" His gaze trailed over her face, down the front of her, and he picked up each arm, looking at her coat sleeves. "It didn't bite you?"

  Her throat seized closed. She couldn't answer him. What had happened back there?

  He crushed her to his chest. Their chests bumped together rhythmically as clouds of white condensation from their ragged breaths consumed the air between them.

  Everything had happened faster than she could process. She stood woodenly, unable to understand his anger.

  "Mac, get someone to catch that damn dog and get it out of here." He gripped the back of her neck, pressing her against him. "Close the backdoor. Put security at all entrances."

  He issued orders left and right and forced her up the stairs. She lifted each foot, lost in the nightmare she had no idea how she got into.

  Upstairs in the living room of his private quarters, she pushed a
way from him.

  He let her go.

  Caught between demanding to know what was going on with him and finding out if the dog was all right, she stepped over to the window and looked out, trying to hide how his Jekyll and Hyde attitude scared the hell out of her.

  It was like he hadn't even seen her. That disconnection from him petrified her.

  It was like she hadn't spent all her time with him, gotten to know him intimately, and fallen in love. He'd looked through her, not seeing past whatever had possessed him.

  It was like picking up someone's pet was grounds for breaking up with her. And, he hated her. He hated her with a passion. A passion that exceeded every good thing they shared.

  Outside, Steve approached the dog. Iliana pressed her hand against the cool glass of the window as the pooch wagged its tail at the man's approach, happy to be rescued again. An exhale of relief came. It was all right.

  Anders' security man scooped up the dog, petting its fur. The small animal wiggled in joy at being saved.

  Iliana turned away from the scene outside and looked at Anders.

  He stared at a spot in the corner of the room, away from her. His brow remained lowered, and his mouth grew firmer until it was only a straight thin line. She stayed where she was, unsure of where to even start on how wrong it'd been for him to disregard the dog needing help and her desire to assist another living creature.

  His phone rang, and he ignored it. Maybe he hadn't even heard it.

  The longer she watched him, the more she could see past her confusion. Anders was lost to whatever was going through his head and not in what was happening between them in the room.

  "Anders?" she whispered.

  His gaze snapped to her, and he flinched. "I need to get out of here."

  He turned away and stalked down the hallway. A door slammed, and she cringed. What in the world was going on?

  Chapter 31

  The snow level deepened the higher Anders went in elevation up the mountain. He rode the snowmobile around the last switchback and sped across the peak. Flashes of going over the edge, flying high and free, consumed him.

  He took his hand off the handlebar and came to a stop. It took him several seconds to find the tip of the wooden cross poking through the snow.

  I fucked up, man. I saw Iliana lying in the snow, and the dog on her chest, and fucking lost it. All I could see was the sharp teeth sinking into her neck and locking, taking her from me.

  His rapid heartbeat had him sweating under his snowsuit. He wiped the gloves over his face. Trying to face Iliana and shake away his fear, had him on a rollercoaster of a ride where he had to leave.

  What could he tell her? He was afraid of dogs? How could he expect her to trust him to protect her if he couldn't even handle keeping her safe from someone's pet?

  How would he give her everything she needed when he couldn't even come up with a plausible reason why he acted irrationally today?

  He understood how normal people thought about dogs. How canines were an animal socialized as pets to be part of a family. He'd seen enough customers stay at the Lair to accept that some people were comfortable around dogs.

  Having grown up in group homes, he'd never been around animals. He hadn't petted one or had one in the same room as him until he was taken to Mexico. His whole experience with dogs came from seeing an occasional stray running the street outside the homes he was assigned to.

  It wasn't until he was kidnapped and taken to Mexico that he was forced to be around dogs. There were hundreds of them, and they were all killers. The men had taught him how to train perros—that's what they called dogs—to go after raw meat, to instigate fights, to incite them into an attack or flight response when they were wounded and dying. He taught dogs to feed off their natural instinct to attack.

  It didn't matter what breed of dog. Small. Big. Long hair. Short hair.

  Every single dog in the ring would rather bite his jugular than live in a dog house or on the couch inside with its humans. He'd made them that way.

  His gloved hands fell to his lap.

  I don't know what to do, Joney. I've gone my whole life believing I'd built something within the Lair to protect myself. No one would ever know where I'd come from or what I and the others have been forced to do to protect ourselves. He closed his eyes as the pain of loneliness hit him. I need Iliana, and I don't see how I'm going to convince her that I love her, knowing what I've done.

  The cold air blew over his face. His vision blurred. If he allowed himself to have feelings for someone else, he'd jeopardize the freedom of the others. His excuse that he wanted to protect her from his past would never fly with her.

  She'd demand every little piece of him.

  And, she deserved that and more.

  His chest quivered, and he tottered on losing control. He'd tried to merge his world with Iliana's. Every day something new popped up, pushing him past his comfort level and he feared his inability to be loved.

  ILIANA WALKED INTO the living room, jingling the keys to the motorhome from her finger, and sang a made-up congratulations song to Sofia and Tom.

  "You both are new owners of a swanky motorhome with fewer miles than the number of shoes in my sister's closet." She tossed the keyring to her brother-in-law. "May you have relaxing trips and sleep-filled nights while you cruise the highways."

  "You're such a dork." Sofia hugged her. "Thanks for being patient with us as we worked with the bank to get the loan."

  "No problem. I'm glad it's you guys who are the new owners." She held her sister. "Just don't forget about me as you travel around finding new adventures."

  "Never." Sofia hugged her tighter than normal. "Is everything okay?" she whispered.

  She nodded, not trusting herself to talk about what'd happened that morning when she'd tried to help the dog and Anders left and never returned. She had no idea where they stood in their relationship or if she was going to kick herself for selling her mode of transportation if it happened that she needed to move and start singing gigs at different locations again.

  With Anders, she always felt like she stumbled from one extreme to the other. She either had him, or she'd lost him. She went between highs and lows.

  "Are all these keys to the motorhome?" Tom went through each one, looking them over as if they were a giant puzzle piece and he had no idea what the picture would be when it was finished.

  "The one next to the big ignition key has red nail polish on it. That's the one for the main door. When you get it home, you can go around and figure out all the other ones. Most of them go to the storage doors underneath." She pointed her thumb over her shoulder. "Are you guys going to have time to have something to eat or —"

  "I'd like to get back on the highway." Tom winked. "You know how your sister drives in the snow."

  Iliana smiled, understanding that Tom had all the faith that Sofia could drive the car back in the snow while he drove the motorhome. He wanted to protect her, and that meant getting her off the roads safely before the storm hit.

  "Hang on." She hurried into the kitchen, grabbed the two sacks she'd ordered from the chef downstairs, and returned to the living room. "I had a feeling when the snow started back up this afternoon that you guys wouldn't be staying, so I had the chef put together some food you can eat while you drive."

  "Oh." Sofia held out her hands. "I'm all for eating on the go."

  "Thanks, sis," said Tom.

  She walked them to the door after they'd donned their coats. When she reached for her jacket on the rack, they told her to stay in where it was warm. Giving them each a hug, she watched them take the stairs and head off to the motorhome holding hands.

  By the way her sister added an extra jump in her step and bumped her shoulder against her husband in front of the RV, she could feel their excitement. They'd get more use out of the motorhome than she would.

  Instantly, the worry over Anders walking away from her came back hard. She held on to the doorframe. Distracting herself wit
h her sister and brother-in-law coming no longer was an excuse to push what happened earlier out of her mind.

  She waved as the RV pulled out of the parking spot. Then, she shut the door and rubbed the chill off her arms.

  The silence of the upstairs only pounded in the fact that Anders was gone.

  Earlier, she'd asked Mac to let her know when he came back, and she hadn't heard a word. She couldn't face going downstairs and waiting for him or checking with Mac as if she was a worried mother waiting for her child after curfew came and went. The employees had gotten to know her over the months. They'd know something was wrong between her and Anders if she hung out alone in the bar or casino.

  Walking into the bedroom, she looked at her phone to check the time. At eight o'clock, she and Anders were usually finishing dinner downstairs and getting ready to come upstairs for the night.

  She slipped off her clothes and climbed into bed, using the remote control to shut off the lights in the bedroom. Past the angry stage of him leaving her after their blowup, she'd slipped into a funk.

  There were questions she needed to ask and answers she deserved. Most of all, she was disappointed in Anders.

  Never before had a man treated her special and always looked out for her wellbeing, her happiness, and put her first in his life. Anders, while quieter and more dominating than she was used to, used his personality to seduce her.

  She loved him.

  With him, she felt complete.

  Until today.

  He'd disappointed her by leaving.

  She inhaled deeply and pulled the covers over her shoulders, hugging his pillow to her chest. Through all her worries, she never doubted that he would return to the Lair. But, would he return to her?

  What would she do if she lost him?

  She squeezed her eyes closed. At this point, she only needed him home. She needed to assure herself that he was okay.

  Chapter 32

  Anders went through the bar and up the stairs after parking the snowmobile in the pole building where he housed his recreational and maintenance vehicles. He'd lost track of time on the mountain and had to navigate his way down with the headlight on the motorized sled.