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He kissed her hard, taking her words from her. She kissed him back, stroking his tongue to sooth the pain he'd caused with his honesty. He picked her up and carried her to bed. In seconds, they were both undressed, on the bed, locked together as if daring the world to tear them apart.
Desiree cried out as he drove into her deeper. Her stomach flipped and she grasped his shoulders. She needed no words from Merk to tell her what he was thinking. Everything he needed rolled off him in solid, powerful strokes, driving her higher.
Merk gazed at her the whole time and held his hand on her chest, nestled between her breasts. The security he gave comforted her more than anything he did below her waist. The pain inside her from her father's abuse, her father's ugly behavior, and her father's disgusting crime against another child bubbled out of her. Merk took everything bad and made it good.
She accepted Merk's choices. A small part of her even understood his actions, even if they were different from what she'd want for him. He'd paid years for his crimes and in her opinion; she owed him more than twelve years.
He continued his rhythmic thrusts and withdrawals. She hooked her ankles behind his thighs and held on. He'd fought his own battles and would continue fighting until he won. She acknowledged there could be times in the future where he would be tempted to drink or pull away from her, and she swore she'd never let him struggle by himself. She'd be there every step, for twelve years or twenty or thirty.
Her contraction came slowly, building and tingling, spreading and warming. Emotions poured out of her and she could feel the wet tracks sliding out of the corners of her eyes and into her hair.
Merk's body jerked and he groaned long and low. She shuddered as her sex throbbed, squeezing him, taking him with her over the edge.
His head came down. His lips came forward. He kissed her deeply as he rolled onto his side, taking her with him.
She closed her eyes, exhausted after the worst day of her life. His breathing evened out and hummed her into a place where she relaxed. She pushed her dad's crimes out of her head for Merk's sake. More than anything, she was afraid if she dwelled on the actions of her father, Merk's fear would come true. She'd never recover, and Merk gave her every reason why she must go on and stay strong. She loved him more than she was willing to allow her dad to hurt her anymore.
Whether several minutes or several hours passed, she roused when his warmth moved away from her. She opened her eyes and watched his shadowy figure dress in the dark. When he walked across the wooden floor in his socks carrying his boots, she propped herself up on her elbow.
"Merk?"
He stopped. Fear wrapped its filthy hands around her heart and squeezed. She knew where he planned to go, and knew she'd never be able to stop him. Just as she knew, he'd never live with himself if he failed to protect her.
"Will you come back to me?"
"I'll always come back, because I love you," he whispered, his voice hoarse and deep.
She listened to him walk out the door and down the creaky steps. Her tears wet the pillow. She understood what he refused to tell her.
He'd only be coming back to her if he managed to kill Martin and not get himself killed.
To beg him to stay would be unfair of her. He needed to validate his life, his purpose, his reason for continuing to fight his addiction and to make his sister proud. Hopefully, someday, she'd teach him to see what she saw when she looked into his ice blue eyes.
Chapter Thirty Two
One Month later —
Merk watched Desi studying the tourist as her opponent broke the triangle of balls lined up three quarters of the way down the pool table. The air of confidence in her stance amused him.
"You've got to be shittin' me. She's taking donations if she wins?" Jacko slid the tray of filled beer mugs across the bar to Jeremy.
Merk shrugged. "She's stashing the cash she wins from her pool games in the filing cabinet. I caught her doing it two days ago and she said its money she's saving to pay me back for the renovations. I've been skimming off the top every night since without her noticing. Unlike Joe, she doesn't write a thing down or keep a tally of her winnings. It'll take her years to collect enough to pay me back for the repairs and renovations on the building."
Maybe once she reached twelve years of paying him, he'd let her in on his secret that he'd taken her money and put it in his account with Cam and never touched a dime of it. By then, he'd be ready to move them both out of the bar and find a nice house outside of town where he doesn't have to watch his back every hour of the day.
Desi caught his gaze and winked before stepping up to the pool table for her turn. He gave up watching if any of the customers needed an order filled, and instead gave all his attention to his woman. She puckered her lips in concentration. His hand squeezed the edge of the counter. Damn, he'd never get tired of those lips.
She hit three balls into the pocket and strolled around the table, judging her shots. He wanted to take her upstairs and ignore the crowd in the bar, but she took her pool games seriously and there'd be hell to pay if she lost.
High energy charged the atmosphere inside the room. Merk gave up working and crossed his arms. Desi loved every single minute she continued to make her shots.
"Hey, Prez is here," said Jacko.
Merk turned his head and spotted Cam walking into the room with his arm looped over Christina's shoulder. He lifted his chin in greeting and avoided looking directly at Christina.
Cam came up to the bar and spoke to Jacko. "She wants a diet Pepsi and I'll take a beer."
"Two for one tonight, Christina." Jacko laughed and wiggled his brows. "Think you can handle that much pop?"
Christina leaned over the bar and lowered her voice. "Give my extra drink to Jeremy when it's time for his break."
Merk kept his mouth shut. Desi let Jeremy have free use of the pop machine. During his breaks, he'd eat whatever table snack Desi had out for the day. The kid wasn't starving. He ate more than his wages at the bar.
"Come on, baby. Let's grab a table and you can show your support while I finish the beer. Then we're getting out of here." Cam skirted the outside of the room, sat at the far table with his back toward the wall.
Never off guard, Cam always expected trouble. Merk fingered his pack of smokes in his pocket. Until he heard Reds retaliation plans for him taking out Martin a week ago, every Moroad member would stay vigilant. His move on Martin was personal, and he took full responsibility for killing Reds' leader. Unless Reds decided to go against the extortion agreement and sacrifice every member inside prison, he hoped trouble would stay away for a while.
The solid clink of two pool balls hitting each other dragged his attention back to the game. Desi leaned over the felt, spread her Chucks wider on the floor, and smooth as chrome sank the eight ball in the corner pocket. He put an unlit cigarette in his mouth to hide his grin.
She never lost, and the smile on her face with each win made putting up with her stupid idea to pay him back worth it.
After shaking hands with the tourist, Desi walked straight to him, waving a fistful of money. He leaned down and kissed her upturned lips. She never even counted her winnings. The thrill of the game and his support gave Desi the high she needed to go on, heal, and find happiness.
He snatched the money out of her hand and put it in his pocket. "Walk outside with me."
"Hang on. Let me have Johnson help Jacko. Jeremy's on break, so it'll be the two of them running drinks out." She peered around the room and motioned Johnson over and when he nodded, she gave him a thumb up. "Okay, you've got me for ten minutes, and then I need to come back inside and make sure the women know how to play pool. It's taking some of them forever to put some effort into actually playing a full game without giving up."
"They like playing darts." He leaned over and spoke to Johnson. "Hey, man, make that fifteen minutes."
"Got it, bro." Johnson jumped over the counter and landed beside Jacko.
Desi rolled her eyes and
smacked her palm against Merk's stomach. He pulled her tight against him. Ten minutes would never be long enough.
Merk led Desi outside before she changed her mind. At the back of the building, he turned and pressed her against the brick surface, capturing her mouth. She grabbed on to his ass and pulled her body against him. He moaned, thrusting his tongue between her lips. The high of winning made her wild, and he was a lucky man.
"Get a room," a male voice interrupted them.
Merk turned, ready to tell the guy where to go, and stopped. Jeremy leaned against the building six feet from them.
Desi squeezed Merk's arm. "Control yourself," she muttered.
"That'll never happen." Merk grinned at her, popping his cigarette back in his mouth.
Desi leaned against him and smiled at Jeremy. "You're doing really well serving drinks."
Jeremy shrugged. "It's not that hard."
Desi reached down and palmed Merk's ass out of Jeremy's view. "Your folks are inside."
"Yeah, they said they were going to stop in." Jeremy glanced at Merk. "I doubt if they'll stay long."
"Oh." Desi caught her disappointment and smiled. "God, the cool breeze feels good out here after being inside. It's almost fall."
"Nice night for a ride." Merk looked at Jeremy. "You still enjoy night rides?"
Jeremy straightened from the wall. "Yeah."
"Want to cut out of here a half hour early tonight and take a ride up to the lake with me?" Merk rubbed Desi's hip to give his hand something to do.
He hadn't done anything with Jeremy since finding out they were blood relatives. Suddenly, he wanted the kid to say yes.
"Uh." Jeremy scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, I'll go. My tanks full."
Merk flicked the coal off his cigarette and pocketed the butt. "I'll meet you back here then."
"Okay." Jeremy pointed to the door. "My breaks over. I'll see you guys inside."
Desi pounced on Merk once the door closed. "Did you see his face? You shocked him."
He exhaled, cradling the back of her head and holding her against his chest. "Probably a dumb ass move."
"No, it was awesome." She kissed him hard. "I need to go back inside, but yay...I'm so happy for you."
He patted her ass and opened the door. "I'll come inside in a few minutes."
Desi hesitated and turned toward him. "I love you."
He tilted his head. The warmth in his chest spread throughout his body. "Twelve years," he mouthed.
She caught her lower lip between her teeth, nodded, and broke out in a smile. Her green eyes danced as she turned and hurried up the stairs to the bar. Merk closed the door and walked over to his motorcycle. Alone, he let himself enjoy the quiet.
His woman was safe and happy.
His nephew was going for a ride with him later.
His club supported Desi.
Hell, even Cam showed up at the bar with Christina.
He sobered and opened the satchel on his bike, removed the flask he always carried with him for emergencies, and unscrewed the top. Lifting the container, he inhaled deeply. Then, he let his arm fall to his side and he watched the liquid run a path along the asphalt. When the container was empty, he pulled back his arm, and sailed the flask through the air to the vacate lot across the road.
He'd promised Desi and owed his sister's memory to stay sober. Maybe he still held a chance at showing Jeremy that answers don't come from an addiction. Maybe sober, he'd be able to stay out of prison for a longer stretch and give the next twelve years of his life a better run.
Laughter came from the side of the building. He walked inside, locking the door behind him. Upstairs a group of three women and three men took turns playing pool. Desi stood to the side of the room talking to Katie. He sat down on a free bar stool and wondered if he'd ever get used to all these people in his space.
Cam approached him and stretched out his arm. "Tell Desiree she's done a good job."
Merk shook his hand. "I will, man, thanks."
"We might have to change the night of our meetings, since Desiree's hired three of our members, plus you." Cam gazed around the room. "Sundays."
"That'll work better." Merk caught Cam's eyes. "Have you heard anything from Reds yet?"
Cam shook his head. "They'll need to regroup, assign another leader. Payments are due tomorrow, and we'll see if they come through or not."
"Let me know when you hear. I'm ready to ride."
Cam stepped around Merk and Christina hesitated in front of him. His body tensed.
"Ride safe, Merk." Christina's gaze met his, and then she reached for Cam's hand and followed him outside.
Merk stared at the floor, stunned and relieved. He'd put Christina through hell and thought they'd never mend their friendship. She'd told him exactly what she thought of him after he'd shot Cam. Tonight she'd breached the line she'd drawn between them.
Desi rushed in front of him. He lifted his gaze and found those lips he loved smiling at him. He gave no thought to why Christina picked tonight to break her silence. Desi seemed to have her hand in everything, including his vest pocket.
"Mine," she whispered, pulling the fistful of money she'd won off the unsuspecting tourist earlier.
He stood and motioned to the office. "Why don't I help you put that in the filing cabinet...?"
She glanced around and then pulled him to the back of the room. He kicked the door shut and had his belt undone by the time she'd stripped out of her shirt.
"In a couple more months, I should have enough to pay you back." She kneeled in front of him.
He leaned his ass on the edge of the desk and sunk his hand in her hair. He mumbled, "More like twelve....Jesus, that feels good."
Her lips closed around his cock. First thing tomorrow morning, he was going to steal all the twenty dollars she saved and replace them with ones. He'd live perfectly content knowing she owed him.
Coming Soon
The next Moroad MC series standalone novel will feature Jacko!
Author Bio
Top Selling Romance Author, Debra Kayn, lives with her family at the foot of the Bitterroot Mountains in beautiful Idaho. She enjoys riding motorcycles, playing tennis, fishing, and driving the men crazy in the garage.
Her love of family ties and laughter makes her a natural to write heartwarming contemporary stories to the delight of her readers. Oh, let's cut to the chase. She loves to write about REAL MEN and the WOMEN who love them.
When Debra was nineteen years old, a man kissed her without introducing himself. When they finally came up for air, the first words out of his mouth were...will you have my babies? Considering Debra's weakness for a sexy, badass man, who is strong enough to survive her attitude, she said yes. A quick wedding at the House of Amour and four babies later, she's living her own romance book.
Website: www.debrakayn.com
Twitter: www.twitter.com/DebraKayn
Facebook: www.facebook.com/DebraKaynFanPage
Debra Kayn's Backlist
Wrapped Around Him – Moroad MC series
For Life – Moroad MC series,
His Crime – Moroad MC series
Time Owed – Moroad MC series
Breathing His Air – Bantorus Motorcycle Club
Aching To Exhale – Lagsturns Motorcycle Club
Soothing His Madness – Bantorus Motorcycle Club
Grasping for Freedom – Bantorus Motorcycle Club
Fighting To Ride – Bantorus Motorcycle Club
Struggling For Justice – Bantorus Motorcycle Club
Starving For Vengeance – Bantorus Motorcycle Club
Living A Beautiful War – Bantorus Motorcycle Club
Laying Down His Colors – Bantorus Motorcycle Club, anthology titled Melt My Heart
Archer, A Hard Body Novel, book 1
Weston, A Hard Body Novel, book 2
Biker Babe in Black, The Chromes and Wheels Gang, book 1
Ride Free, The Chromes and Wheels Gang, book 2
&nb
sp; Healing Trace
Wildly, Playing For Hearts, book 1
Seductively, Playing For Hearts, book 2
Conveniently, Playing For Hearts, book 3
Secretly, Playing For Hearts, book 4
Surprisingly, Playing For Hearts, book 5
Chantilly's Cowboy, The Sisters of McDougal Ranch, book 1
Val's Rancher, The Sisters of McDougal Ranch, book 2
Margot's Lawman, The Sisters of McDougal Ranch, book 3
Florentine's Hero, The Sisters of McDougal Ranch, book 4
Suite Cowboy
Hijinks
Resurrecting Charlie's Girl
Betraying the Prince
Love Rescued Me
Double Agent
Breaking Fire Code
Sneak Peek – Wrapped Around Him
Book 1 Moroad Motorcycle Club series
Chapter One
In the shade of the blue tarp pitched off the side of an old travel trailer, sixteen-year-old Jeremy Aldridge sat in a woven, plastic chair oblivious to everything around him. Christina Nickelson noted the boy's solemn expression, one that he always wore, the new scratch along his arm, and the lack of parental supervision—that wasn't required twenty-four/seven for a boy his age.
As Jeremy's former social worker, she wanted to find a reason to bring her suspicions of abuse or neglect to the judge. Her head pounded from the heat of the sun filling her car. Nobody could convince her that Cam Farrell was a good father.
Unaware of her staked out on the road, Jeremy flipped through a magazine, his ankles crossed and propped atop a metal beer keg. An ache settled behind Christina's eyes, and she rubbed her temple. Officially, she'd closed Jeremy's case when full custody went to his birth father.
She glanced down at last year's photo of Jeremy clipped to her file. She swallowed the lump of emotions choking her. He held himself stoic from life's harsh realities, never letting anyone else view the hardships he'd endured in his short life. Maybe that's why she couldn't let Jeremy's case go. She understood his need to hide his feelings from everyone.