The Higher You Fly Read online

  The Higher You Fly

  by Debra Kayn

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  The Higher You Fly

  1st Digital release: Copyright© 2017 Debra Kayn

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced electronically or in print without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews.

  All rights reserved. This copy is intended for the purchaser of this e-book ONLY. No part of this e-book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without prior written permission from Debra Kayn. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author's rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

  www.debrakayn.com

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  Acknowledgments

  Prologue

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  CHAPTER 5

  CHAPTER 6

  CHAPTER 7

  CHAPTER 8

  CHAPTER 9

  CHAPTER 10

  CHAPTER 11

  CHAPTER 12

  CHAPTER 13

  CHAPTER 14

  CHAPTER 15

  CHAPTER 16

  CHAPTER 17

  CHAPTER 18

  CHAPTER 19

  CHAPTER 20

  CHAPTER 21

  CHAPTER 22

  CHAPTER 23

  CHAPTER 24

  CHAPTER 25

  CHAPTER 26

  CHAPTER 27

  CHAPTER 28

  CHAPTER 29

  CHAPTER 30

  CHAPTER 31

  CHAPTER 32

  CHAPTER 33

  CHAPTER 34

  CHAPTER 35

  CHAPTER 36

  Epilogue

  — Chapter One Sample—

  Author Bio

  Debra Kayn's Backlist

  Dedication

  To those who had/have one love last a lifetime.

  _____________

  My grandparents.

  My parents.

  Us.

  Acknowledgments

  Wallace, Idaho

  ________

  As most of you know, Federal Idaho is the fictional name for my hometown of Wallace, Idaho. It's a wonderful to live in an area where we take pride in our colorful past and history. Most of all the acceptance of those we call neighbors. Thank you to Ryan Motel, Lux Rooms, Oasis Bordello Museum, Wallace Inn, Rossi Building, Shoshone County Sheriff's Department, Harvest Food, Hecla Mining, Molly B'Damn Motel and the community for adding that special touch to my books.

  My Family

  ________

  It's simple. I love you.

  Prologue

  There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved. — George Sand

  The slap of gloved fist hitting sweat-soaked skin echoed through the basement of the Bantorus Motorcycle Club. Caiden's opponent hit the canvas in front of Jolene, and she flinched. Ignoring the splattering of sweat landing on her, she jumped up and down, shouting in victory.

  The referee counted. Caiden's opponent stayed down on the platform. Eight. Nine. Ten.

  Knockout.

  In the middle of the ring, the referee lifted Caiden's arm and the crowd of bikers surrounding the platform cheered. Deafened by the noise and rush of bodies pressing in on her, Jolene bounced on her toes and caught Caiden's gaze as he looked for her. He always called her his lucky charm.

  Caiden's need to have her by his side was the only reason the biker club would let her in to watch the boxing match. The Bantorus members bet their money on Caiden, and even though she was underage, they wanted their favorite boxer to win.

  He'd won the last four Friday night events, and more than anything Caiden wanted to keep winning. The money would be used to buy the abandoned cabin outside of Federal, deep in forestry land, for when Jolene graduated high school. It was their dream to live together, where nobody would bother or judge their relationship.

  Caiden motioned his head toward the other side of the ring, wanting Jolene by his side. She squeezed her way between the men surrounding the platform.

  Eagerly, she waited ringside while Caiden stepped down and wound his arm around her neck. She hung on to him, not caring about the sweat rolling off his bare chest or the swollen eye. Caiden loved to box, the competition, the physical exertion. He was strong and dedicated.

  "We need to get out of here," said Caiden, pushing his way through the room of people.

  Alone with him in the hallway, she jumped and wrapped her arms around his neck, her feet dangled off the floor. "Oh, my God. You were so good. Four rounds, Caiden. You knocked your opponent clear out."

  He glanced back at the door of the room. His uninjured eye narrowed and he wrapped his gloved hand around her back, holding her to him. "We need to get the winnings and go."

  Her feet hit the floor. She straightened her skirt, grabbed onto his glove, and walked with him to the stairs. "We don't have to hurry. I told my parents I was spending the night with Rory. I'll just go home later and tell them Rory got sick and I decided to leave."

  "Jo..." Caiden leaned down. "You can't keep lying to your folks about where you're spending time."

  "But, I want to be with you. They already said if I hang around you, they'll send me to a private school out of the area." She dragged him forward wanting to forget her parents need to dictate her life to society's whims. "Your mom is working, right?"

  "Yeah," he said.

  Caiden lived above a rundown bar in town with his mother, who worked downstairs and was never home. If she was in the apartment, she was drunk.

  He looked behind him and put his glove up to his mouth and gnawed at the tape. She climbed the narrow stairs behind him, tapping his ass with her hand, excited for him. Caiden tended to be moody, but the wins always put him in a good mood.

  On the main floor of the clubhouse, an old silver mine Jolene's deceased great-grandfather owned before she was born that'd closed and later was bought by Bantorus Motorcycle Club, Caiden ripped off one of his gloves and grabbed her hand. She hurried with him to the table where one of the bikers sat with the cashbox.

  "Nice fight, Hall." The biker stood and clasped Caiden's hand. "You're up against Rowland next week."

  "No problem." Caiden held his gloved hand out in front of him. "Can you cut me out, man. I need to leave."

  The biker flicked open a knife and sliced through the tape wound around Caiden's hand. Caiden stuck his glove under his arm and pulled it off. Jolene took his gloves from him, wide awake and pumped on adrenaline despite it being almost midnight.

  "Can I get my winnings?" Caiden glanced behind him. A frown marred his already abused face.

  Jolene followed his gaze. There was no one else in the room. Everyone was downstairs still.

  "Eight hundred big ones. Tonight was the jackpot." The biker slapped a stack of money in Caiden's outstretched hand. "Rest up and put some ice on your eye."

  "Yeah, I will." Caiden pressed his hand against Jolene's back.

  The downstairs shouting quieted. Caiden hesitated and looked around. Jolene turned to him. "What's going on down there?"

  "Nothing. Let's go." His jaw tightened and he rushed her out the door.

  She skipped down the long staircase taking her outside the Cyclone fenced area and to Caiden's car. Tossing his gloves into the backsea
t, she slid into the car and moved over until she sat in the middle near him. She loved his Impala with the bench seat in front. It meant more time near him, touching him.

  Caiden backed out onto the road, flipped his headlights on, and drove away. She rubbed his bare thigh. "You're going to get cold."

  "I'm fine." He turned on the radio, blaring Green Day.

  She turned the volume down. "Are you okay?"

  "Said I was fine."

  She half turned, looking at his face. "Your eye?"

  "Fine."

  "Your hands?" she asked.

  "Damn, Jolene." His hands tightened on the steering wheel. "No more questions. I just want to get out of here."

  "Okay," she said softly, sinking back against the seat.

  His usual high after a win was missing. He drove the rest of the way in silence. Once he found a parking spot in front of the bar off Cedar Street, he turned off the engine and dropped his hands to his lap. She leaned her head onto his shoulder. Over the last year and a half, she'd learned that it was better to leave him alone while he worked through whatever kept him from sharing his thoughts. Eventually, he'd tell her what bothered him.

  "I hate this place," he muttered.

  "But you're doing something to make a better life for yourself. For us." She gazed at the neon light in the darkened window of the bar. "The way you're winning, you'll be able to buy the cabin in no time."

  "It won't be enough. It's never enough. Besides, I don't even know who owns the cabin. They might not want to sell the place."

  "You'll find out, and money talks. That's what my dad says," she said.

  "Maybe in your world. Not in mine." He exhaled loudly and opened the door. "Let's get upstairs before someone notices you outside."

  She slid behind the steering wheel and exited through the driver's door. Tucked under Caiden's arm, she squeezed into the door to the left of the entrance of the bar and walked up the steps to the second story. She held her breath and hurried. If Caiden had no trouble opening the rusty lock on the apartment door, she could manage to hold her breath and get past the worst of the urine odor mixed with old beer smell that lingered in the stairwell.

  Caiden pushed open the door and stepped aside, letting her rush inside. She let out her breath and refilled her lungs, turned around, and found him frowning at her.

  Self-conscious about being rude about his living conditions, she grabbed his arm. "Let me rub your hands, and then I'll get some ice for your face."

  Caiden walked to the ratty couch and plopped down. She sat sideways beside him and gathered his hand in her lap. Rubbing his knuckles, she watched his face for any sign of pain. He stared at her without any expression, always trying to hide his pain and discomfort from her.

  Laying his hand back on his thigh, she stepped into the small kitchen and filled a plastic grocery bag with ice cubes from the freezer. Taking her hairband holding her ponytail out of her hair to tie the bag, she returned to his side. She placed the cold pack gently on his face and guided his head down to her lap. Her stomach warmed. She loved taking care of him and looked forward to spending most of the night with him.

  He'd usually wait until he calmed down from an event and then take her to his bedroom. She smoothed his hair back from his face. They'd started having sex five months ago. She'd never experienced the level of closeness with anyone but Caiden.

  There were times her feelings for him overwhelmed her. When she was away from him, all she wanted was to see him. She couldn't wait until she graduated, turned eighteen years old, and could be with him all the time.

  No one had ever loved her the way Caiden had. Not her parents, who cared about their appearance in front of their rich friends more than her. No matter her grades or accomplishments, she would never be a part of their prestigious life. Not in the way she was Caiden's whole world.

  Her parents had a child simply because that was expected, not that they wanted a daughter to love and cherish.

  She traced Caiden's broad forehead, gently where his brow bulged from the pounding his face took tonight. Suspecting from his features he was a Norwegian with his high cheekbones, soft gray eyes, and chiseled jaw, she'd once asked him where his ancestors came from, and he'd laughed, claiming he had no grandparents and he was an American.

  She loved that about him. To him, life started when he was born. He never worried about pleasing his mom, holding up family traditions, and throwing a long line of generations out to explain who he was to her. Unlike her family who took great pride in who they were and what they'd accomplished. It was one of the reasons why her parents forbid her to see Caiden. According to them, there were too many problems with her including Caiden in her life.

  His age. He was five years older than her, and an adult.

  His upbringing. He lived above a bar with a single mother.

  His education. He'd dropped out of high school and worked at the gas station.

  Most of all, Caiden's attitude. He refused to get along with them, and the one time she invited him over before informing her parents about him, he'd told her dad to fuck off when her father interrogated him. While she'd been horrified, she secretly was proud of Caiden for not bending to her parents' ridiculous questions that were none of their business.

  "Jolene," said Caiden, grabbing her hand and holding it on his chest.

  She leaned down and kissed him softly. "I love you so much."

  "Jo, you have to listen to me." He sat up and cupped her face. "You know where I hide the money?"

  She nodded. "In your closet, underneath the blanket on your shelf."

  "I want you to have the money." His gaze intensified.

  She pressed against his hands, shaking her head. "I don't under—"

  "Take it and keep it safe for me." He pressed his lips against her mouth.

  His kiss took her by surprise through her confusion. She held his hands against her face and opened her mouth. The new onslaught of feelings she'd only come to experience with Caiden quickly swept her away. She trembled and squirmed closer to him.

  Caiden pulled on her hair, holding her in front of him. "You need to listen to me. I love you."

  "I love you, too." She leaned in to kiss him again, and he stopped her.

  "No matter what happens, Jolene, you're mine." Caiden's hold on her head hurt. "Tell me you'll wait for me. That we'll buy our cabin and be together forever."

  "What?" Her heart raced. "You're scaring me."

  "Promise me," he said, glancing at the door.

  "Don't say things like that." Her vision blurred with tears. "I'm right here. I'm never leaving you."

  The thought of being away from him filled her with panic. Her stomach tightened and pained her.

  "Listen, I've got a bad feeling," he said, his hands shaking. "It didn't feel right."

  "What didn't feel right?"

  "The hit." He swallowed, and his Adam's apple bobbed. "Chapman's face when he went down. Something isn't right."

  She recognized the man's name he competed against tonight in the ring. "What do you mean?"

  He'd rushed her away from the clubhouse, she hadn't seen anything wrong. His opponent went down the way others have when they'd gone up against Caiden. She'd gotten used to seeing men punch each other. Caiden always acted happy after an event.

  Except, tonight, he lacked the usual high he got from boxing.

  Police sirens invaded the quiet of the apartment. Caiden shook her. "Jolene, promise me you'll wait for me."

  "O-okay." She found herself falling back on the couch when he let her go and stood.

  "You'll wait. We'll get married. I swear on my life, Jolene. Everything I've promised you will come true. You're mine. That's not going to change." Caiden grabbed a sweatshirt off the chair by the window and pulled it over his head. "Trust me. Don't listen to your parents. You know there's no one else for me, but you. Tell me you believe me."

  The sirens shut off. In the silence of the room, Jolene stood, wringing her hands. "Why are you g
etting dressed?"

  "I need to get out of here." His gaze flashed around the room in a panic.

  She stepped toward him. "Where are we going?"

  Caiden hooked her neck, bringing her closer and kissed her hard, and said, "Trust me, okay?"

  "Yes, I trust you." She grabbed his arm when he stepped away.

  He ripped his sweatshirt out of her grasp and rushed to the window. "Don't ever give up on me."

  She started crying. "Caiden?"

  He opened the window leading out to the emergency fire escape and hesitated. He gazed back at her. "Jo..."

  The door to the apartment banged open. She jumped in fright.

  "Police. Put your hands up." Two policemen aimed their pistols at Caiden.

  Caiden straightened and continued to gaze at her without paying any mind to the officers who approached him. She stepped toward him, and he shook his head, stopping her.

  "Caiden Hall, you're under arrest for the murder of Logan Chapman." The cop yanked Caiden's arm behind his back.

  Murder?

  Caiden?

  The officer handcuffed Caiden and pushed him past Jolene. She pivoted, speechless, shocked, scared. He'd been with her, and before that at Bantorus Motorcycle Club boxing. She covered her mouth. Chapman was his opponent. He'd been knocked out. He wasn't dead.

  "Caiden?" She rushed to the door and held on to the wall.

  He gazed over his shoulder. "Promise me, Jolene," he shouted.

  She nodded and mouthed, "Promise."

  CHAPTER 1

  If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were. —Richard Bach

  Puffs of cottonwood seeds fell to the hardwood floor in the kitchen. Jolene set the box on the counter and leaned over to pick up the fluffy white seeds, and her movement sent them floating along the surface and under the dishwasher.

  She straightened, unable to worry about a few of nature's wonders getting lost for years until one day she replaced the dishwasher and found a next of questionable items. Living in Northern Idaho on the edge of Federal Forestry land, she'd soon have bits of dirt, pine needles, and pollen hiding in the nooks and crannies of her new house.