The Higher You Fly Read online

  The skin at the top of her nose pinched when she lowered her brows. "You deliver propane."

  "Only to you."

  She hugged her middle. "Do people really treat you that badly?"

  "I no longer notice what people do or say. But, people will talk, and they'll look if I take a beautiful woman, who is out of my league, out to relax. It won't be me they judge, but you." He held out his hand. "None of the members of Bantorus are going to look down on you for being with me. They helped me get back on my feet after prison and supported me during the ten years I was imprisoned. You know that Kurt and I go way back."

  "He was the one who got you into boxing," she whispered.

  He nodded. If she could remember that, then she could remember how much she enjoyed going out with him and hanging in the clubhouse, hidden from view of her parents and society. Today was no different than when she was a teenager, except he wouldn't be boxing. They could enjoy themselves without anyone butting into their life.

  She swiveled on the seat to face him straight on. "May I ask you something?"

  "Yeah."

  She swallowed and said, "Why?"

  "I already explained how this is one place where you'll be comfortable."

  She shook her head. "I want to know what all this means. Why do you keep coming to the cabin? Why take me out?"

  It was easier knowing she was out of the state of Idaho and he couldn't go find her after he was released from prison. He thrived off the anger he had toward her. There was a part of him that hated her and wanted her to feel the level of pain she'd caused him.

  But the more he was around her, the more his anger left him.

  She made him feel alive for the first time since he got hauled away in cuffs and he wanted to keep that feeling. He had no idea if it was a fleeting emotion or if he was selfish enough to want her after everything they'd gone through.

  "I don't know why," he said.

  "Oh, Caiden." She bit her bottom lip.

  The pity she gave him tasted bitter in his mouth. "You either want a couple of beers with me, or you don't."

  She looked up at the clubhouse on the hillside. He could almost view her battling with her decision to go inside with him or not. He suspected one of her thoughts involved whether he was worth spending the evening with.

  He had nothing to prove to her. The person she had loved was gone.

  Jolene slid out of the truck. He shut the door and walked with her to the gate. Michael, the prospect, greeted him and allowed entrance. Taking the long row of steps up to the front door, he put his hand on Jolene's lower back, telling himself he was helping her when in truth, he used any excuse to touch her.

  He opened the door. Jolene hesitated, looking up at him. He recognized the fear in her eyes and pulled her closer.

  Ushering her inside, he lifted his hand at Kurt in greeting and picked a table in the middle of the room where conversations from the other twenty or so members and their women could be a buffer for Jolene until she felt comfortable. He pulled out her chair, waited for her to sit, then grabbed a chair for him, putting it beside her.

  "Do you want a beer or do you drink something else now? he asked.

  "Beer is fine." She crossed her legs under the table and shrugged her arms out of her coat.

  By the time he got back to the table, she'd put all her outerwear on the back of her chair. He sat the bottle of beer in front of her and removed his jacket before sitting down with her.

  Jolene held the bottle and gazed around the room, never lingering long on any of the groups scattered around. He took a long drink. The silence between him and Jolene grew awkward. What had him thinking bringing her was a good idea?

  He had no need for idle chitchat. The only thing he wanted was answers to why she bought the cabin and why she came back to Federal. Then maybe he could figure out why she never came to see him in prison for ten years and wasn't waiting for him in Federal when he was released.

  He ran his hand down the thigh of his jeans. Her excuse of needing a serene place to do her craft and the cabin was perfect for her was bullshit. She'd stolen the life they'd planned together, and he wanted her to admit what she'd done.

  "Caiden?"

  He looked at Jolene. "What?"

  "I said your name three times." She glanced around the table and then lowered her voice. "This is uncomfortable for me and I know you enjoy being here. Why don't you take me home and you can come back and drink with your friends?"

  "No."

  She played with the bracelet on her wrist. "Can you explain why not?"

  "No."

  She stood. He remained sitting. There was nowhere for her to go. If she asked anyone at the party to drive her home, they'd come to him first before helping her.

  Jolene must've realized the same thing, because she sat back down, ignoring the beer on the table. He enjoyed her discomfort. She had no idea what it felt like to be locked up, not knowing if she'd walk away alive, and the only thing making you get through each day was the hope that the person you loved would come and give you hope. And, that person never came. He'd lived it. Every second.

  "Hey, man." Kurt pulled up a chair to the table. "You made it."

  Caiden put his empty bottle on the table and grabbed Jolene's full beer she hadn't touched. "Jolene, you remember Kurt."

  "Yes. I ran into him at the post office awhile back." Jolene failed to cover the tight smile. "It's good to see you again."

  "Glad you came with Caiden." Kurt motioned his hand in the air. "Risa. Come here, sweets."

  Risa walked over to the table and stood beside her husband, putting her arm around his shoulders. "Do you need another drink?"

  "No, I'm good." Kurt lifted his chin. "Do you remember Jolene? She used to come around with Caiden before he went to prison."

  "Sure, I do." Risa smiled. "This is a surprise. What's it been? Fifteen years?"

  "Twenty," said Caiden.

  Jolene's spine stiffened at the harshness of Caiden's voice, and she recovered with a smile. "A long time. You haven't changed at all. You're still gorgeous."

  Risa laughed. "A few more lines and more than a few pounds, but I'm a grandma now and use that as an excuse. Poppy has a little boy who keeps us going."

  "I talked to Poppy on the phone." Jolene relaxed. "I didn't know it was him at the time, but he's plowing my road for me. I haven't been able to catch him yet when he comes by, but I can't wait to see him. I remember him as a cute little boy."

  "He was here earlier but received a call to plow someone's driveway in town. He should be back anytime." Risa sighed. "He's living in one of the cabin's behind the clubhouse but is always working. I'm lucky if I see him a couple times a week."

  "Okay, let's leave these two alone to enjoy their drinks." Kurt stood from the table and gathered his wife in his arms. "I'm stealing her away. I promised Remmy and Natalie we'd play them a game of pool before we go up to the house for the night."

  Caiden shook hands with Kurt and watched them wander away. Jolene's politeness with others was only a mask. She fumed. It was the maddest he'd seen her since she'd returned.

  "Ready for a beer yet?" he asked.

  She shook her head. "Take me home."

  "When I'm ready."

  Jolene stood, put on her coat, hat, scarf, and then walked to the door and left the clubhouse. She sure was good at leaving him.

  He finished the rest of his second beer, giving her five minutes out in the cold waiting for him, knowing she had enough gear on to protect her from the weather. Then, he shrugged on his jacket and went looking for her.

  Outside the gate, his truck was gone.

  CHAPTER 17

  A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life. — Christopher Morley

  The clash of metal keys hitting the tile tabletop broke the silence in the cabin. Jolene pulled out a chair and sat. Her body tremored, letting out the fury she'd held in at the clubhouse and the drive home in the dark over Caiden's behavior.

&n
bsp; She could understand his gruffness and his silence on occasion. Tonight, his decision to take her somewhere against her wishes, and not letting her leave, went past her threshold for tolerance. That was not the Caiden she remembered.

  He had his moods in the past, as had she, but any meanness he gave was never directed toward her. He never verged on cruelty and humiliation.

  A sob escaped, and she closed her eyes, refusing to have a full-out meltdown. He shouldn't even matter to her. It'd been twenty years since they'd been together. It seemed like she'd been alone for a lifetime. What they had together was a young love. She hadn't even been mature enough to understand life and still depended on her parents to raise her.

  After Caiden had been arrested, Dr. Virann taught her to separate fantasy from reality. It was a coping mechanism to keep herself from falling apart.

  She placed her hands on the cool tile of the table, grounding herself to the present. She owned a house, a car, paid her bills, created a company, and was responsible for herself. She had dinner in town. She went out with Caiden for impossible reasons when the truth was he had his own life to contend with. She had to focus on obtaining her goals. The Quintessential Line would bring her success, and the garnets needed her attention.

  Her fantasies had no solid bearing on her life.

  Caiden's treatment of her dashed her hope that he still loved her. He'd never verbally told her he was glad she'd come back to Federal. The kiss they'd shared were only excess emotions neither one of them could contain. They only shared the same memories, not the present.

  She blew out a cleaning breath and opened her eyes. There. She'd completed the exercise her therapist had forced her to learn. There was no time in her life to fall into the dark path she had found herself in. She'd moved on years ago. Alone.

  A low rumble came from outside. The engine sounded a lot like Poppy's truck.

  She walked to the window, looked outside at the headlights, and waited until the slight curve in the road to view the vehicle. Her heart calmed, and she walked away from the window. It was Poppy, probably cleaning up after the county's snow plow barely scraped the road and left a berm halfway onto her road that she had to drive around.

  Shaking her arms, she paced off the adrenaline rush. In the morning, she'd pound a nail in the front door and hang Caiden's keys outside for him to pick up his truck after he finds someone to give him a ride to the cabin, and from then on, she was going to do whatever possible to avoid him.

  She stopped and kicked off her boots. Poppy must've left because once again the cabin was quiet. She picked up her purse, boots, coat, and headed to bed when a knock startled her, she dropped everything in the hallway.

  She hurried to the front of the cabin and came up short three feet from the door when Caiden came into view on the other side of the window. Her heart raced, and she couldn't feel her legs. He'd shocked her numb. She'd expected Poppy at the door, thinking Risa had told him to stop by, and he probably noticed the lights on in the cabin.

  Wanting Caiden to go away, she went back to the table, snatched up his keys, and opened the door. She thrust the keys toward him. "Here."

  "You stole my truck." He glared.

  Keeping the door open made the temperature drop in the house. She retracted her hand the moment he took the keys. "Your mistake. You left the keyring above the visor."

  "Would it have been so hard to sit for an hour, have a beer, and act like you enjoyed being with me?"

  "I don't even know you anymore, and what I do know, I don't like." She slammed the door in her anger and stormed away from him.

  She realized her mistake of not turning the lock when the door opened. Caiden had a habit of walking into the cabin without asking permission.

  "Get out," she said, fuming.

  He kept walking toward her. She stepped back, and he wrapped his arm around her back taking away her escape.

  "Caid—"

  His mouth captured hers, stealing her words and throwing them back at her with his tongue. Gone was the softness and control he'd shown her with the last kiss. She couldn't breathe. The ownership belonged to him and raised panic in her.

  He let her go faster than he claimed the kiss. She stumbled, catching her balance. He growled. "Why?"

  His guttural question ripped her heart out. Her lips pulsed from the pressure of his kiss, reverberating between her legs. She couldn't put thought to what he asked.

  "Why did you buy our cabin?" His chest heaved with each breath, and he lowered his hand.

  The cabin? She half turned away from him. "You know I've always loved this place."

  "We loved this place," he said, deepening his voice. "Why did you buy it?"

  She shook her head. Her refusal came from not allowing herself to fantasize and instead focused on reality. "My work. The location provides the quiet I need to concentrate on my craft."

  Caiden stared at her and then gruffly said, "You're lying."

  "Idaho is on the route for my distributor." She swallowed and pressed her hand to her forehead, willing the reasons to come out of her mouth and make sense to him. "Most of the merchants a-are on the west coast."

  "Keep telling yourself that's the reason."

  The tension-filled air in the room stifled her. Her tongue stuck to the top of her mouth. She forced herself to face him. "I've always loved the mountains. You know that."

  He stepped toward her. "The reason, Jolene."

  Her body trembled the closer he got to her. "None of the houses for sale in Federal were the right size."

  "I don't believe you." He pressed into her space.

  Her heartbeat roared in her ears, and her chest pounded. She pressed her hands against his chest, whether to push him away or hold on to him, she couldn't tell.

  "I don't care if you don't believe me," she said, panting as his head lowered.

  He put his lips on her ear. "Tell me the truth."

  His warm breath heated her neck. Her body refused to push him away. The only thing she had left was the truth, and she exploded. "I was afraid of losing everything that represented you in my life, and the cabin is about us. It's always been about us."

  He captured her mouth and lifted her off the floor. She grabbed his hair, kissing him back. Her body vibrated, unable to stop moving and she slipped several times only to have him lift her higher, carrying her.

  She was falling.

  Her back hit the mattress.

  She gasped, pushing away his coat, yanking on the collar of his shirt, battling the constraints as his hands undid her jeans and she kicked out, trying to get free of her clothes.

  Caiden lifted off her. She reached down and untangled her feet from her panties. Subconsciously aware of him putting on a condom, there was nothing stopping her. Afraid of saying a word, she squirmed, grabbing onto his heavy jacket.

  Then, he was back on top of her

  He stilled. "No more lies."

  Her whole life had been a lie. She'd lied to her parents as a teenager about seeing Caiden. She'd lied about being sexually active with him. She lied to the therapist after Caiden had gone to prison, and lied about getting better. She lied whenever anyone asked her if she was happy.

  But, he'd never lied to her, and she had never lied to him.

  "No more lies," she repeated.

  He lowered his mouth to her ear. "I'm going to fuck you, Jolene," he said.

  Here, on her bed, she saw the sly and badass boy she remembered. It was the idea that they had another chance to be together that made her hot. He was uncontrollable, now an ex-con. He was her forbidden fruit.

  Even now, twenty years later, he barely fit into polite society. Knowing he was still hard and unbending to the core, the opposite of her, thrilled her. It was always his strength that she was drawn to. He took care of himself, and her, not out of duty, but love.

  He slid down her body. She stared at the ceiling and tried to ignore that he was between her thighs and—she raised her head off the bed at the first swipe of his to
ngue. "Caiden."

  His mouth remained on her, and he planted his hand on her stomach, pressing her back onto the mattress. She melted into the comforter on the bed. Every muscle in her body quit fighting, except her core made her quiver.

  Caiden growled against her. Her pleasure rose, not only from what he was doing to her but that he was here with her. She sank her fingers into his hair.

  "Please." She tugged, needing to feel his whole body on hers.

  He kissed his way over her abdomen, over her ribs, and rose above her. She locked her ankles behind his calves and held his head between her hands. There had been other men over the years. She'd tried to forget Caiden. Tried to erase his face from her mind. Tried to forget.

  But, her heart belonged to him. He was her soul mate. Her other half. Her life.

  Every single part of him large, hard, and sexy. He lowered himself down and nibbled on her neck. "You're here."

  She nodded against his shoulder, closing her eyes. "Yes."

  In careful concentration, he entered her. She held on to his jacket, covering them both. His muscles constricted and became harder, if that was possible. She lifted her hips.

  He slowly withdrew.

  She bucked underneath him.

  He slid in with all the care in the world, belying his anger moments ago.

  She groaned in torment.

  He held himself still.

  She dug her nails into the flannel. "Caiden?"

  Panicked as much as turned on, she squirmed below him. Each agonizing stroke from his cock spiraled her out of control.

  "I'm here." He ground against her. "Look at me."

  She inhaled a shuddering breath, so close, so, so close.

  The intensity of his gaze reached inside of her and brought her release. She convulsed in pleasure, wave after wave. His eyes stormed above her, and if she thought she was done, she found out differently.

  One look from him and her body paid attention despite her mind reveling in the fastest, hardest orgasm of her life.

  "That's my Jolene," he whispered, lowering himself to his elbows.