Grasping For Freedom Read online

  She wanted to escape the bar, escape Bantorus MC, escape Torque, and not look back. She'd had a lifetime of attitude, and what had that left her? Absolutely nothing.

  Bruce glanced at her while he wiped the counter down. "Everything okay?"

  "Yeah." She nodded, convincing herself it was true.

  She was an adult, holding down a managerial position, and surviving on her own. Other people's actions weren't a reflection on her. She was not responsible for what they did.

  Her body flushed hot, not heated, not warmed, but one giant hot flash and she was only twenty-four years old. She glanced back at the man who instantly had her panting with this badass attitude. She couldn't explain why she reacted so badly toward him. Yet looking at him, he was the most beautiful man she'd ever seen, and the worst kind of man for her. She didn't need another hotheaded man in her life.

  Torque represented bad news. All tough and dominating, even his looks pegged him as trouble. Longish brown hair swept back rather than brushed. Two days growth of whiskers as if he couldn't bother to shave. She inhaled swiftly, attempting to get control of herself. Broad shoulders, which his leather vest accented, added strength to his no-touch attitude.

  But he'd touched her, and she'd liked it. She needed to figure out a way to hate him.

  She'd spent years learning how to stand up for herself, to protect her weaknesses, and to live independently. None of her reactions to him made any sense.

  "You know, Gladys worked here a lot of years. She ran the bar before Rain bought the business for Bantorus headquarters." Bruce set down a shot glass on the bar. "She was the first person I met when I was delegated to pouring drinks."

  "Is that so?" she mumbled, watching him pour whiskey into the glass.

  "Yep." Bruce slid the glass over in front of Brandy. "I'm also the one who knew that she got through the day by tossing back a whiskey now and then. Drink up, sweetheart. You need the calm."

  "I can't." She eyed the glass, really wanting to wash away all the feelings of turmoil circling her stomach.

  "Go on..." Bruce put the glass in her hand. "If only to wash the taste of Torque out of your mouth."

  She lifted her gaze and met Bruce's wink. Amusement danced in his eyes, but he thankfully didn't say another work about what happened with Torque. She tipped back the drink and swallowed in one large gulp to hide from the truth. Her chest exploded in a blazing ball of fire. She breathed out and sucked in air, which made her cough.

  She accepted the glass of Cola Bruce handed her, and drank half of the liquid before she was able to find her voice. "Thanks."

  "No problem." Bruce winked. "You best go talk with the waitresses and prepare them for the evening crowd. Once this place picks up, you won't have another chance to organize the team."

  "Right." She smoothed her shirt over her trembling stomach.

  Taylor, the petite waitress with adorable brown hair and a scar across her cheek had shown her the back room and where to locate all the supplies during her orientation earlier, stood waiting for instructions with raised brows. Ginger, the outspoken red haired woman who assessed her up and down and forced a fake smile when Rain introduced her, looked everywhere else but at Brandy. They were polite, but standoffish. She'd expected their attitude, because she was new, she was female, and they'd just finished a going away party for a dear friend and boss.

  While she went over rotations, break schedules, and the procedures on what the waitresses should do if they ran into trouble, Brandy kept her back toward the pool table and Torque. The whiskey helped calm her, and by the time she checked in on the cook, took inventory for Bruce, and stocked under the counter, she felt more like herself.

  The evening crowd showed up and settled in at the bar and tables. A cluster of bikers congregated around the pool table, making a sea of leather vests, and making it more difficult to keep watching Torque—which she wasn't going to do.

  Work wise, things were improving for her first day on the job.

  Her cell phone vibrated in her pocket. She searched for Bruce and found him talking to an older biker sitting at the bar. Ginger sat on a man's lap in the corner, and the way she gyrated, she wasn't paying any attention to anyone else. She gazed at the pool table and found Taylor leaning into Slade, whom she'd met earlier and knew was Taylor's man. With everyone's eyes off her, she hurried down the hallway and out the back door. Only then did she remove her phone from her pocket.

  Knowing she missed the call and the blackened out screen would give her no information on who called, she waited. The instructions from her boss were strict. If she didn't pick up, she'd receive another call in exactly three minutes. If she missed the connection a second time, she'd be removed from the area with no warning. Her life depended on her answering the phone.

  Her phone vibrated. She pushed the side button. "Hello?"

  "In three more days, we'll contact you. At that time, we need an idea on the number of Bantorus members and any information about their schedule," said the voice on the other end of the call.

  Hired by Los Li after she turned to the wrong person for help, there was only one thing she could do until she found a way to get her father out of danger. She had to go along with her job of gathering information about Bantorus MC before her dad got himself killed.

  She recognized the caller as the man she knew as Radiant. Nothing about him cast a glow around him like his name suggested. She suspected he was one of the main leaders within Los Li, and he got his name because he was the brains behind everything they did. Not that she knew what their business was, but the secrets and people who came and went within their headquarters were bad, real bad.

  "Okay." She nodded, though she knew no one could see her. "You'll need to give me time, because only Rain—who isn't much of a talker, and the bartender here is reaching out to me. Most of them...they don't like outsiders, so they're not sharing anything I can't see myself."

  "I'd suggest you change their minds then, baby," said Radiant.

  She thrust her fingers in her hair. His suggestion was the obvious one, but the last thing she wanted to do was lower herself to whoring herself out. That was the main reason why she came to Pitnam. It kept her away from sleeping with the members of Los Li in exchange for her dad's life.

  "I'll think of something," she said.

  Silence greeted her. She looked at the display—still black, and put the cell back on her ear. "Hello?"

  No response. She pushed the button on the side of the phone again and shoved the device in her pocket. Already she felt like a failure.

  She opened the door and walked back inside Cactus Cove. She had no idea why Los Li wanted information on Bantorus MC, and she didn't care. She had to find her dad before she lost him too. She was too young and blind to what her mother had gone through, but she could stop her dad from self-destructing.

  No matter what anyone else said—friends, coworkers, her dad's old buddies—she was the only person who could help her dad, the only one who could make him listen. Now that her mom couldn't keep David Haas on the straight, she was responsible for him.

  The arid and yeasty smell of beer hit her in the hallway. She paused on the outskirt of the room, gathering herself. She only had a few more hours and then she could go out to the cabin.

  A large man with a black skullcap walked toward her. She smiled and looked away to discourage any conversation. The man kept coming. She stepped to the side and his beefy hand circled her waist and brought her up flat against his chest.

  "Excuse me," she said, pushing on his arms.

  "That's it, honey." He tugged her closer, breathing on her face. "I like a bitch with fire."

  "I said, excuse me." She shoved, but all she did was exhaust her strength. "Let me go, you—"

  The man whirled around, losing his hold on her. Brandy stumbled, gaining her balance and heard a sickening pop followed by a thud. She jerked her gaze toward the man, who now lay flat on his back on the floor.

  Torque stood above him, rubb
ing his hand. "She ain't one of the bitches, Graham."

  Graham pushed up on his elbows. He glanced between her and Torque. "Sure looks like a bitch to me."

  Torque planted his boot in the middle of Graham's chest and pushed him back down. "Apologize. Now. She's the new manager."

  "Ah, hell," Graham muttered. "Sorry, honey. I didn't know you were working for Rain."

  Uh. Well. Wow. She pulled her gaze from Torque and glanced at Graham. "It's okay."

  She turned to tell Torque thank you, but one look from him and she knew it would be better to walk away. She ducked her chin and turned around. Hiding out in the kitchen wasn't her plan, but that's what she did. She took the time to make small talk with the cook, help hand out ketchup bottles to Taylor, and finally joined Bruce behind the bar when her heartbeat settled into a familiar pattern.

  The counter provided a shield between her and Torque, and meant she could relax. She poured a few mugs of beer and chatted with a couple named Pauline—who ran Pitnam's newspaper and was the old lady to Orca—who was huge. Before she knew it, Bruce announced last call. She glanced at the clock behind the bar. Ten more minutes and the bar closed.

  "Are they really going to have time to squeeze in another drink?" She studied the crowd.

  Bruce laughed. "You must not spend a lot of time around bikers."

  "No, not really," she said.

  At least ten guys lined the bar. Each one grabbed a mug and without stopping, downed the whole drink. She almost laughed at the hooting and hollering that went up from each one after they finished. Fascinated, she watched each one of the men throw their arm over the closest woman and head for the door.

  She whistled softly and grinned at Bruce. "That puts a whole new meaning to hooking up at the bar, huh?"

  "You'll see a lot of that here, but only when Tori's not around. She doesn't put up with the girls hanging around the bar anymore." Bruce slid his fingers through the handles of the mugs and deposited them in the plastic bin behind the counter. "Most of those women are bitches, and—"

  "Excuse me?" She raised her brows. "Not very professional of you to call them a derogatory name. They're customers."

  Bruce grinned. "Nah, they're bitches. A few of them live in the biggest cabin in the back...three doors down from the cabin you claimed. They're here for the Bantorus men. We've got old ladies who keep them minding their manners inside the bar—he pointed at Pauline. Then there's Kristen, though she was born into Bantorus MC, she's now my old lady. Slade's wife Taylor and Raul's old lady Crystal all keep the peace around here. But the single women who only want to be hangers and sleep with the men are bitches. They're not the kind you want to trust in a relationship. The girls know their role while they're on Bantorus land, and mostly follow the rules. Not one of them would go up against an old lady or you, so you won't have any problem with them."

  She couldn't help searching for Torque to see if he left with one of the single women. She found him putting the chairs on the tables. "So, that biker earlier who called me a bitch thought I was available?"

  "Yeah. His mistake. He won't do that again. I'll have Rain take the subject of you working here to the table when he gets back." Bruce picked up the loaded bin. "Word will get around. Everyone will protect you, and that includes Torque—he stepped out of line tonight, and it won't happen again."

  Warmth flooded her neck and she nodded. Her behavior was inexcusable; even more so than Torque's reckless kiss because she was working.

  "They also protect the bitches, but there's a fine line that can't be crossed around those in Bantorus MC, and that includes you as Bantorus property seeing as how you're working for Rain. It's called respect." Bruce patted her shoulder as he walked behind her.

  Alone behind the bar, she understood what Bruce told her about the way Rain ran the bar. The anarchy wasn't much different than with Los Li. Except here, she wasn't a bitch. Not that she'd chosen to sleep around with any of the members of Los Li, but that's because she could work for them here instead. She picked up the rag on the bar and tossed it in the other bin for dirty laundry. At least within Bantorus MC, the protection they offered her helped settle her nerves.

  She went through her tasks to close for the night step by step, and deposited the money in the office the way Rain instructed. In the hall, she yelled, "Bruce, I'm heading out."

  Bruce pushed through the swinging doors from the kitchen and held up his hand. "Hang on, and I'll find you a chaperone."

  She shook her head. "I'm good. I'll see you tomorrow."

  Taylor smiled goodbye and Ginger shrugged and turned away when she waved goodbye to the other employees. She picked up her leather bag out of the backroom and walked out the backdoor. Determined not to let the other girls' attitude bother her, she shook off the coldness left over from their treatment. All they had to do was work together, not become best friends.

  Outside, the cool damp air tickled her bare arms. She paused, tilted her face to the sky, and inhaled the fresh air. Running a bar was something she was good at and had come second nature to her. By the time she was eight, she was serving dinner, wiping tables, and pocketing the tips the customers left her while working in her parents' bar. When she reached her teen years, she'd taken over for her mom when she became unable to run the business. Then shit happened, and she put everything she had into keeping her head above water. She scoffed, shaking her head at the turn of events and bad luck.

  A motorcyclist rode past her and stopped at the cabin on the end. She walked across the gravel parking lot, ignoring the activity. Once the motorcycle shut off, the sound of footsteps in the gravel behind her came closer. She sped up, not wanting to come face to face with one of the bikers.

  "Hey," a male voice said.

  She glanced behind her without stopping and found Torque following her. "Work's over and the bar is closed."

  He kept coming toward her. Her heart raced. Ten more feet and she'd hit the porch of the cabin. Thankfully, she left the light on like Rain suggested or she'd be stuck out in the dark with Torque.

  She had her key out of her pocket and in the lock before Torque joined her on the porch. She squeezed the life out of the handle trying to get inside, but the door wouldn't open even though she'd turned the key.

  "Dammit," she muttered, jiggling the handle.

  Torque's arm came in front of her and he banged his fist on the door right in front of her at eye level. The door swung open on its own. She exhaled and turned to look at him. "How'd you do that?"

  "Doors warped. Press up high and turn the handle at the same time." Torque reached in and flipped the light switch. "It rains a lot here and the doors made out of cheap wood. I'll talk to Rain tomorrow, and have a new door installed."

  "Oh, no, that's okay. I'll figure it out." She stepped inside and turned around, blocking him from following her into the cabin. "Was there a reason you followed me home?"

  "Just protecting Bantorus property." Torque shoved his hands in his back pockets and stepped off the porch. "Night."

  She stood in the doorway, watching him walk away. Unsure if she was impressed with his manners or disappointed that he didn't try to kiss her again, she said, "Hey, Torque."

  He turned around not saying a word. She shrugged. "Thanks for, you know, what happened in the bar."

  Torque's head tilted. "The kiss?"

  She moistened her lips, wanting to smile. "No. For punching that guy who called me a bitch and making him apologize. You didn't have to do that, but it was...nice."

  "I'm not nice, sunshine," he said, turning around and this time he kept walking until he disappeared out of view.

  She inhaled deeply and closed the door. He was probably right, but she didn't see anyone else standing up for her in the bar or kissing her until she lost her breath. She leaned against the cabin door. Her emotions were playing mind games with her. Normally, she wouldn't be attracted to Torque.

  Even though he was gorgeous and bossy in a way that made her feel special for being single
d out, she had bigger things to worry about. And she definitely didn't have time to waste thinking about the opposite sex. She tapped the back of her head against the wood, trying to knock some sense into her overstressed head. He might be an asshole, but he'd protected her when it mattered. She had to admit, right or wrong, she needed all the protection she could get.

  Chapter Three

  After three days of drizzle, the clouds finally parted and the sun warmed the air. Torque grabbed his leather coat off the chair in the lobby of Shift's Garage and pushed his way through the door. Once he arrived at Cactus Cove, he'd have a wet ass from the spray coming off the back tire of his Harley. That and the fact that Brandy would be at the bar soured his mood.

  He'd almost succeeded at pushing Brandy out of his head, until last night when he tied on one too many with Remmy and heard the talk about the bets between some of the other Bantorus men who were waiting around for Rain to give his okay for them to make their move on the new manager. Then shit got real.

  He used the sleeve of his jacket to swipe the wetness off the seat of his Harley. Water ran in droplets over the edge of the leather. He was ready for sunshine and the calm he found hanging around the bar. This time of year was tough for a biker in the Pacific Northwest. The rain meant less days straddling the bike, and more days inside.

  He steeled himself for the onslaught of moisture that remained and sat his bike. Without waiting, he started the engine and pulled out onto the street. Rain would be in the office, and he had to discuss what he planned to do about Brandy and the guys who planned to use her for their own personal challenge.

  Bantorus rules forbid anyone, biker, employee, acquaintance, from messing around with Gladys. The rule shouldn't change because Brandy was young, available, and asking for attention.

  Five minutes later, he parked his motorcycle in the lot of Cactus Cove and hopped off. He ignored the uncomfortable dampness on his ass and the obvious strip of wetness on his lower back from the road spray, and strode through the backdoor of the bar.