For Life Read online

  "Don't leave me," she whispered, letting her eyes close.

  His hand came up and palmed her head, holding her close. She sighed, because simply breathing took up too much energy. The love she had for Cam riddled her body until she ached. She'd tried to talk herself into leaving. He was a criminal, a felon, an ex-convict, but it was pointless. With him, every emotion she'd bottled inside of her spilled out. The relief so great, she wanted to hold on to him and never let go. She enjoyed the twinges, the soreness, the pain of loving him. Hurting reminded her that she was alive and he'd never leave her.

  Chapter Five

  The clink of the sliding door locking echoed in the vacated hallway of the prison. The hair on Cam's arms stood up as he followed Pretaro. Going off a gut feeling, he broke the rules and reached out to the guard.

  "We need another monkey," Cam whispered.

  Pretaro walked forward, every step precise. "You're risking my job with that request."

  "I need more communication with my men and meetings will probably fall when you're not here to get me in." Cam slowed down without stopping. "I need more clearance for different days without raising anyone's curiosity."

  Pretaro paused with his hand on the doorknob. "Give me two weeks and don't expect miracles. If I talk to the wrong person, both our asses will be locked up."

  Cam dipped his chin, slipped into the room, and stood while the door closed. He stepped over to the steel table and sat down in the chair bolted to the floor. Normally, he made contact with Merk and trusted that his message would find its source. Today, he depended on Pretaro scheduling another Moroad member on the inside to meet with him. Not knowing who would walk into the visitor room, Cam gambled with his own safety.

  If a Reds member showed up, he could kiss his freedom goodbye.

  The door opened and Jacko, a member of Moroad MC for the last twenty years, shuffled into the room, smiling a fucking flash of straight white teeth in a face covered in beginner prison tattoos. Cam held Jacko's gaze and wanted to laugh. Jacko was the last person he expected to walk into the room. He didn't think the man had any favors left to pull after spending the last three years in solitary for what the guards called mental instability and the 'victs called vacation.

  The short, stocky guard locked Jacko to the chair and moved back to stand at the door, giving them privacy. Cam shook his head, unable to believe his sergeant of arms sat in front of him.

  "Damn." Jacko grinned. "You're looking old, motherfucker."

  "Living on the outside is hard, brother." Cam's smile broke free. "It's fucking good to see your ugly ass. I was starting to think you were spending a nickel in paradise."

  The last rumor Cam heard, Jacko bought himself five more years and tried to get his lawyer to reopen his murder wrap, bringing new evidence to the judge. Cam blew out his breath at the change of good luck. He'd have to make a phone call tomorrow and find out Jacko's story and how much longer he'd be on the inside. He needed someone he trusted and Jacko was perfect as his inside contact.

  "What's the chance of your stay in the general population turning permanent?" Cam asked.

  Jacko leaned against the table. "How long do you need me on the ward?"

  "As long as you can handle the chaos." Cam lowered his voice. "You're the only man I trust with...life. I need to stay one-step ahead of Reds. You hear me?"

  Jacko's cheek twitched. "Is there a mole I should know about?"

  "Find out who covered Kersey's back. I want to know anyone who looked at him twice or changed their routine." Cam cleared his throat and waited for the guard to look away again. "They've planted two members up as guinea pigs, and six members walked out the door before my release. I want to know what's going on."

  "Life?" Jacko asked.

  The code word for the gun chain Moroad MC ran from east to west coast remained everyone's main concern. Without the chain running, every Moroad MC member would eventually end up in prison. The Moroad inmates would struggle to survive their incarceration. The money they garnered on the outside kept those on the inside protected against the Reds, Blues, Los Li, and smaller gangs.

  "Green light and going. Profits are rolling in." Cam reached up and rubbed his jaw, drawing the guard's attention. "You ever hear anything from your girl?"

  Jacko frowned. "She's been gone for years, Cam."

  Taken by Los Li, Sarah—Jacko's old lady, stayed loyal to Moroad until Los Li picked her up one night walking home from her sister's house a few blocks away from Jacko's house. Moroad tracked her to the border, and that's where they lost her. Every day Jacko had waited for word from Los Li, biding his time until he could get her back. The news of Sarah giving her life for her man hit Cam deep.

  "Fuck," Cam mumbled. "Sorry to hear."

  "Yeah." Jacko's gaze intensified. "You got me for however long. Whatever needs to be done, I'll do it. I'll do it for Sarah and you, for helping me."

  Cam lifted his chin. "Stay on the ward. Listen. Take everything you hear and think about what the others are doing. Use all your fucking time to stay ahead of Reds. If you hear the plans for one of our women taking a message or being used against Moroad, I want you to use someone's juice card and get word to our contact. I need to know if the accident involving one of our women was a singular attack or if we've got someone close watching our business."

  "A woman?" Jacko gaze narrowed. "Done."

  "I'll contact you soon." Cam motioned at the guard he was finished with his visit. "Watch your back, brother."

  Jacko's face relaxed, the smile came out, and his eyes danced making him appear insane—an act he used on the inside and one Cam knew worked well for Jacko. "Fucking good to see you. Come back and don't be a stranger."

  The guard unlocked Jacko from the chair and Cam's SOA laughed, making bodily contact with the guard. Excess energy exploded in Cam, and he fought to keep from getting up until they were out of the room. The mask Jacko wore saved his life regularly, but the carefree-mentally-stunted act put Jacko right into the action to overhear or witness anything questionable going down in the state pen.

  The door behind Cam opened. He stood and exited the room, following Pretaro down the hallway, past the security checks, and hit the outside without anyone stopping him. More elated than he expected to be after the meeting, he got on his motorcycle and headed for Federal.

  Eight hours later, he pulled into the yard. He put his weight on his leg and groaned at the stiffness built up in his damaged knee over the miles.

  Ripped out grass stuck to the bottom of his boots. Christina was going to kill him in the morning when she spotted the tire marks in the yard. He kept forgetting her request to park in the gravel and stay off the grass. Her obsession over his lawn escaped him. They lived outside of Federal in the Bitterroot Mountains where weeds and trees grew wild.

  He stepped up on to the porch, favoring his knee, and stopped. Peering into the darkness, he looked around for the muffled noise and spotted Jeremy leaning against the house. Movement came from below him and Cam squinted. He barely made out the bleached blonde hair bobbing at waist level.

  Cam shook his head at the changes eighteen months made on Jeremy. "Take Tiff home when she's done blowing you off, kid."

  Cam walked into the house without waiting for Jeremy's answer, knowing he'd follow through without question. In the foyer, the noise from the television and Christina's laughter greeted him. He tossed his gloves to the small table underneath the window and stepped into the living room. His already tired body tightened.

  Merk sat on the floor, leaning against the couch with his legs stretched out and crossed at the boots. Cam swept his gaze to his woman sitting across from Merk, legs V'd, shimmying her ass against the floor with her arms waving above her head.

  "I won, again." Christina thrust her hand out in front of her. "You totally owe me. Pay up."

  Merk pulled the chain at his hip and removed money out of his wallet. Cam cleared his throat.

  Christina gasped, turning toward him. Her smile gr
ew. "You're home."

  "Yeah." He shrugged out of his vest and tossed it onto the chair.

  Christina snatched the handful of money and flashed Merk a satisfied grin, and then walked over and wrapped her arms around Cam. He refrained from holding her and stared at Merk.

  "Get out," he said.

  "Cam." Christina slapped his chest. "We were only—"

  "Shut up." Cam stepped away from her and confronted Merk.

  Merk pushed up to a standing position and moved the coffee table back in place. Cam blocked his path. The rage burning in his chest refused to budge.

  "That's the last time you're in my house when I'm not here. If I catch you again, I'll kill you." Cam fought to keep from throwing a punch.

  Merk lifted his chin, respecting him, and stepped around Cam.

  "Merk...thank you for keeping me company and the game," Christina whispered.

  Cam closed his eyes and kept his back to Christina. What the hell was she thinking?

  The door shut. His anger intensified, knowing he'd failed to protect her. He'd set her up in his house, gave her a family, and fucking botched to protect her from a man he called brother.

  "When you were gone, Merk pulled me out of myself and brought me back to living a life where I could take care of Jeremy, record the earnings for the club, and take care of the house. He offered me an ear when I needed to talk—"

  "Shut up," he said, the words ripping his throat.

  "I won't be quiet, because you have to listen." She wrapped her arms around him from behind and laid her head on his back. "I lost myself when you were sent to prison. I walked out of the courthouse broken. You wouldn't look at me—"

  "I wouldn't look at you, because I needed to protect you from everyone in the courtroom. I don't know who would harm you to get to me if they learned of our connection."

  She sighed against his back. "You left me. I begged you never to go, and you willingly left me."

  His spine caved under the anger and he leaned forward, whipping around to face her. "Did you fuck Merk?"

  "What?" She stepped back, shaking her head. "Of course not."

  "You had him in my house." He hit the nearest wall, knocking the shelf holding some vase he'd never seen before to the floor.

  The shattered glass lay in ruin. He stared at the mess, blinded with rage. Christina belonged to him. There were too many changes. He never gave her permission to hang out with Merk. Cam's heart pounded. She was supposed to rely on him.

  "He became a friend," she said.

  He whipped his gaze to her. "You don't have friends."

  A flash of pain fizzled in her gaze and she covered her cheeks. Her eyes welled up, tears slipped past her lashes, and she dashed them away. He wanted to hurt her and make her bleed the way seeing Merk in the house with her did to him. His homecoming blinded him to what he'd allowed to happen in front of him.

  But, no more. He'd damn well make sure Merk kept his distance. Christina needed to rely on him, and only him. If she failed to put her trust in him, he'd show her what could happen.

  "Get in bed." He reached behind his neck, grabbed his T-shirt, and pulled it off his body.

  Christina lowered her gaze and walked toward the kitchen. He grabbed her arm. "The bedroom is in the other direction."

  "I need to get the broom and pick up the glass before someone steps on a piece and gets cut," she said, her voice shaky.

  He motioned with his chin. "Go to bed. I'll clean it up."

  She scurried out of the room, following his orders. He carried his shirt to the utility room, stripped down, tossed his clothes in the basket, and then carried the broom and dustpan into the living room.

  Once he cleaned up his mess, he walked into the bedroom. He stopped inside the door.

  Christina sat on the edge of the bed naked, her hands braced against her thighs. His cock noticed her half a second after his eyes took her in fully. Fuck, she was beautiful.

  Her chin trembled as she looked into his eyes. He inhaled deeply, expanding his chest to make room for the vulnerability she gave him. He owned her. She could no more deny their connection, their need, their power over each other than feel comfortable disobeying him.

  "I expected to find you wrapped in my blanket." He shut off the light and walked over to the bed.

  She scrambled to her side near the wall. He got in bed and covered them both. She faced him and though her body heat radiated to him, she kept herself from touching him.

  "You're home, so I don't hide in a blanket," she whispered.

  His vision adjusted to the dark and the outside flood light filtered in illuminating her face. "When I'm gone, you do not let the Moroad members inside the house. I've told you many times and expected you to listen."

  "What was I supposed to do?" She inhaled deeply. "You trusted Moroad to keep me safe, and I needed them because you were gone. I don't trust people easily, Cam. You know that. You were the first person I relied on after my parents were murdered, and one reaching out to you was one of the hardest things I've ever done. You were the one who pressured me to lean on your MC brothers while you went away to prison. You don't know what it was like for me to admit I put myself into a position of needing others. I had to trust the club for money, ask them for help around the house, and even trusted them to keep Jeremy safe. For you to think I could do everything on my own...then I've failed your idea of what you expect of me. I'm sure you're disappointed, and that bothers me more than you acting like an ass with Merk."

  "You didn't fail me." Cam lifted her chin and held her in place. "I don't trust Merk. I don't trust any of the Moroad members with you."

  "He's my friend," she whispered. "I'd forgotten what it was like to have someone to laugh with and I wasn't alone."

  Cam growled. He wouldn't call any of his MC brothers a friend. He had acquaintances. They gave favors and in return, he protected them as long as they stayed loyal. Nevertheless, any one of them would fuck his woman if given a chance.

  "I'm here now, and Merk doesn't come in the house. Understand?"

  She nodded. "You're still upset."

  "Not with you." He pulled her into his arms, dragging her leg atop his thigh. "The thought of someone touching what is mine kills me, baby."

  "He was only being nice."

  "Don't want to hear it. Go to sleep. I need a couple of hours before I fuck you. It was a long ride home and my leg is feeling it." He reached up with his hand and threaded his fingers into her hair.

  Christina soon relaxed and her breathing fanned his chest. He stayed awake, promising he wouldn't let down his guard again. From now on, he'd watch over her better and make damn sure Merk or any of the men knew their place. "I'm not going to let anyone take you away from me," he whispered.

  Chapter Six

  Cam held the back of Christina's thigh on his hip with one hand and sank his other into her hair. She basked on the bed, pinned by his weight, secure with her place in his life. He arched his body into hers and lazily penetrated her. She wanted him to nail her to the mattress and give them both what they needed.

  He stopped all movements and held himself perfectly still. Her breasts flattened against his chest and she labored for air.

  "Tell me," he whispered, rubbing his lips over hers then pulling away as she tried to deepen the kiss. "Say it."

  She rolled her head side to side to avoid answering.

  Without leaving her body, he arched his back, dipping his head, and sucked her nipple into his mouth. She rolled her lips over her teeth and muffled her moan. Intense pleasure rolled through her body.

  She was strong. He wouldn't win.

  He sucked hard and then softly taking her by surprise. Her hips intuitively moved up and down, providing her with enough friction to keep going.

  He nuzzled her breasts, going back and forth, rubbing his beard against her sensitive nipples. "God damn...fucking say it."

  "No," she said on a gasp.

  He moved his hand to the bed by her shoulder and thr
ust all the way in her. "Yes," he said, hissing.

  Sweat beaded on his forehead and the vein that ran the side of his forehead and over his temple pulsed angrily. She wanted to laugh, but her lower stomach swirled, tightening and taking her arousal higher. Her confession of loving him proved impossible to say again. She'd only meant to tease him when her declaration of love slipped out of her mouth.

  While she'd discovered that she'd fallen in love with him before he'd left for prison, she wanted to wait and tell him when he got out and came home. Writing him for eighteen months, going through the difficulties of his absence, learning about his crimes, she'd fought her own misgivings. She finally gave up denying that she needed Cam more than she needed answers. She loved him. She'd always loved him.

  "Fuck you," he spat through clenched teeth.

  He pushed to his knees and pounded into her, losing control. She rode the pleasure he wrapped around her, relishing the control he handed to her. She grabbed his forearms, bracing and accepting each thrust. Then she slid into oblivion, her body exploding in waves.

  On and on, her sex milked him until he threw back his head and grunted. He closed his eyes staying on top of her. She ran her hands down his chest, taking in the wild beat of his heart, the heat, the raw show of power.

  His eyes opened. Her body quivered, washed over with an obsession she'd have until the day she died. Because in that second when he looked at her, she witnessed the desperate need inside of him to know what she was feeling, and her heart melted.

  He whispered, "Say it."

  "I love you," she whispered. "I do."

  "I know." He kissed her hard, ending with a smack of his lips.

  He climbed off her. She propped herself on her elbows.

  "Is that all you're going to say?" she asked.

  "Yeah." He used the shirt on the floor to wipe his cock and reached for a clean shirt and jeans.

  "Seriously?" She sat up fully in bed. "I tell you the biggest thing one person can say to the other and you say, 'I know'."

  He buttoned his jeans, pulled his shirt on, leaned down, and kissed her. "Yeah."