Time Owed Read online

  "Are you sure that's how you want to handle what is happening between us?"

  "Yeah." Her shoulders sagged and she stepped toward his bike. "Don't you?"

  His neck straightened, snapping his head back. "Fuck, no."

  "Why not?"

  "Because." He stalked toward her and weaved his fingers through her hair, giving her a tug until she had no way to escape. "I want you. I don't know what kind of bullshit you have going through your head, but I'm not going to let you push me away."

  "You want me?" she whispered.

  He lowered his mouth and spoke against her lips. "I'm not planning on letting you get away."

  The always-present weight on her shoulders eased at his words. Confused at her reaction, she wanted to ask him questions to get answers. He needed to go his own way, and she'd stop melting every time he looked at her.

  And still, his words echoed in her head. He wanted her and fed into her fantasy.

  Merk gazed intently down at her. The blue of his eyes barely seen in the glow from the headlights, but the heat coming off him scorched her insides. Maybe if she took what he offered, she would finally get him out of head. She could relearn how to think of him as a felon working security at the bar, and get over her interest in him.

  He wanted her. She wanted him. Afterward, she'd face reality. They could continue to work together and she could go on with her life without obsessing over his every move.

  "Okay," she blurted, throwing caution to the wind. "I know you have other women, but I want you to want me before I wake up tomorrow hating myself for wanting you, too."

  He chuckled, his chest rumbled against her. "You're sleep drunk, because that didn't make any sense."

  She shivered, aware of his thighs pressed against her thighs, his stomach hard against her stomach, his chest crushing her breasts. "I want you."

  "That I understand." He kissed her lightly on the lips. "I'm going to fuck you, until you understand this isn't a one-time deal with me."

  Desperate to keep things at the most basic level of a one-night stand, she slid her hands up his chest. Her fingers curled around the edges of his hair brushing his shoulders. Unable to reach his mouth, she tugged on him as she stretched to her tiptoes and kissed him.

  She slipped her tongue into his mouth. Her stomach churned and warmed.

  His hand circled the back of her neck, through her hair, and pulled her away. He growled. "No."

  She opened her mouth to ask him what was wrong, and he kissed her. His tongue stroked hers, taking, and dominating her. His aggression weakened her knees and she leaned into him.

  He held her securely. Her body melted into his capable hands. He took away her confusion. Out here at the lake, no one else around, he created her fantasy.

  He held her tight, bending her body to his will. Her breasts pulsed. Her sex dampened. Emotions relaxed her throat, and she hung on to Merk because he gave her no choice. She needed him to tame the attraction she had for him.

  A frenzy of feelings throughout every inch of her body buzzed. She never questioned if she should have sex or if she shouldn't have sex. Her body moved against him, seeking more, because he left her breathless.

  She was definitely going to have sex. Nothing could stop her.

  Held in Merk's arms, her feet left the sandy soil, her head snuggled into the palm of his hand, her muscles warmed and relaxed. The whole time he carried her closer to the water and continued kissing her. He required nothing from her, but to accept the fact they were going to have sex at the lake.

  He placed her on her feet, took off his vest, his T-shirt, and laid the clothes on the ground. She sucked in air, unzipping her shorts while taking in his hard, muscled chest and the patch of dark hair in the middle. Her gaze followed the thin line of hair over his abdomen until it disappeared beneath the buckle of his belt.

  Merk spanned his hands around her waist and lifted her off the ground. She kicked off her shorts and panties. "Condom?"

  He laid her down on his clothes, following her down. "I'll take care of it."

  He grabbed the chain dangling off his belt and removed a condom from his wallet. She propped herself on her elbows and watched him undo his jeans, freeing his cock.

  "Good," she said on an exhale.

  Merk's hands stopped. She glanced up at his face, but was ultimately drawn back to the hardness pointing in her direction. Like the man, his cock stood proud, hard, intimidating.

  "Okay?" he murmured.

  She nodded, lost for words.

  He covered himself with the condom and settled between her legs. Legs that were suddenly aching to wrap around his lean hips.

  At the brush of his body, she frantically reached for him.

  He stilled. "No."

  She held on to his biceps, lost in why he'd stopped. She wanted to have sex. He wanted to have sex. She could feel the proof of his arousal between her legs.

  "What do you want me to do?" she said.

  "Pull your top up and let me see the rest of you."

  She yanked her shirt over her breasts and undid the front hook of her bra. She shivered as cool air hit her bare skin.

  He lowered his head and latched on to her nipple. Electric jolts seared her core. His tongue caressed the sensitive bud, alternating between a hard suck and nurturing her. She arched off the ground, needing and wanting more.

  Merk's hands moved to her arms, drawing her hands out to the sides, until she posed open to him, offering him every part of her body. He lifted his head. The breeze brushed her breast where his moist mouth had been, and she trembled as her nipples constricted into tight bundles of nerves.

  "You're fucking beautiful," he said.

  She swallowed hard. The thought of him doing the same thing to the other women, saying the same words, maybe taking them to the same lake constricted her throat. She closed her eyes, hiding from the truth. She was only another sexual conquest for him. Another name he'd never remember.

  "Hey," he whispered huskily, hovering over her. "Look at me."

  She nodded slightly and opened her eyes. "Please, don't stop."

  His eyes warmed. She noticed a shift in his demeanor from doing everything right to taking the time to connect with her. She relaxed her hands, letting her fingers straighten. She pushed her worries away and concentrated on the hardness settling between her legs, hot and demanding.

  She lifted her arm and stroked the mysterious tattoo hidden in the darkness over the left side of his chest. His muscles tensed and a low crooning sound came from his throat. Encouraged, she explored the broad span of his shoulders.

  He pushed her legs farther apart. "Wet and ready."

  "God, yes," she whispered.

  He put his hardness to the opening of her sex and slid inside of her in one thrust. Her whole body tensed, not in shock, not in discomfort, not in fear, but in wonder. She panted, trying to catch her breath over her pulsating body. Her muscles spasmed, squeezing and greedily holding on to him.

  "Freedom." Merk groaned. "Fucking freedom, right here."

  She ground her pelvis against him. "Oh God, please."

  She needed fast, hard, relief. Instead, Merk slowly pulled out of her until he barely touched her pussy. She squirmed, and he sank back inside of her. She moaned and clutched his hair, holding him down against her.

  "Perfect," he muttered, thrusting in, pulling out, stroking her from the inside, and setting her body on fire.

  Merk controlled her pleasure. Her nipples constricted and her skin tingled. At his mercy, instead of feeling guilt, she basked in knowing he'd satisfy her.

  She'd take what he offered for as long as he gave. Three minutes, ten minutes, all night. She needed him. Needed to experience sex with no holds and no promises.

  The same high she received from gambling filled her soul. Her world could crash down on her afterward, but for the moment, her time with Merk, it was the best feeling in the world.

  Merk lowered his head and took her breast in his mouth. She bit down o
n her lip and anted everything she possessed that by morning, she'd walk away having had the best sex ever.

  He forced her to only feel, and suspended time. Her worries over Pop and the other women evaporated. He gave her security when every day of her life hung on the belief the authorities would get wind of the gambling going on in the bar. Merk took her away from the risks and gave her his attention, grounding her to a place where only they existed.

  He'd done the impossible, and she wasn't going to waste what he gave her.

  Merk balanced on one arm and touched her between the legs without missing a stroke with his cock inside of her. She screamed in pleasure, bucking against him. All over, deep inside of her, every single inch, tightened, heated, spiraled.

  The perfect pleasure intensified, and she couldn't stop. She dug her feet into the sand as her body bowed. He continued plunging into her wetness, his breath coming faster, louder, harsher.

  Orgasmic spasms rocked her from deep in her lower stomach, her chest, and out to her fingertips. A flood of wonderful, so intense she wanted to cry, swept through her legs.

  During her climax, Merk set his own frantic rhythm, losing control. He kept her body reacting with each perfected thrust sending her deeper into herself.

  Then he grunted, plunging fully inside of her and holding still. His eyes, usually mysterious and guarded but were now open and warm, soothed her. She shivered, lowering her hips to the ground. She couldn't look away. She knew nothing about the man between her legs. He was a stranger, a biker, a felon. In all likelihood, he would leave her in the middle of the night and go back to the half dozen women waiting for him.

  But, as she laid there soaking in everything that had happened since he'd walked into the bar, she witnessed the anger leaving his eyes. It wasn't the other women putting the warmth in his face or the intensity in his gaze. She'd done that.

  Then, he slipped out of her body, looked away, and what she'd grasped moments before was gone. She sat up, reaching for her panties and shorts. Zapped of energy and defeated, she stifled a yawn.

  Merk picked up his shirt and vest, dressed, and put his hand on her lower back. "I'll take you home."

  She walked to the bike and sat behind him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and put her head on the back of his shoulder.

  Tonight, she'd lost everything she'd bet on Merk. She'd played the game for a half hour, a mind-blowing half hour, and rode the high until the end when Merk showed his winning hand.

  Chapter Seven

  Jacko smacked Merk on the back and jogged down the sidewalk. Merk ignored Jacko's good mood and walked to his bike. After arriving home after four o'clock in the morning after taking Desi to the lake, he'd laid on the couch going over everything she'd said and done.

  Nothing about her behavior made him believe she'd recognize him as her father's murderer. He imagined her young age at the time helped block most of the details out. He could barely remember his younger years.

  Jacko sat on his motorcycle and twirled his sunglasses on his finger. "Are you riding out to Cam's?"

  Merk pushed his bike off the kickstand and balanced the weight. "Not right away, I need to go over to the bar and talk to Joe, let him know I need a few hours off to make the meeting later. Then I'll be out."

  "I'll save you a beer and warm up one of the women for you." Jacko stuck out his tongue and flicked the end.

  "Don't do me any favors." Merk grinned. "You'll have Cam believing I'm after my old V.P. position."

  "Yeah, well you know what I have to say about that." Jacko scratched the back of his head.

  Loyal to a fault, Jacko hated change. Gunner, while a good man for the vice president position, had put in fewer years with the club than Jacko and Merk. Hell, he'd still lay down his life for his president and his club, no matter what anyone thought about his loyalty after he shot Cam and lost his V.P patch.

  Sirens filled the area and grew louder. Merk tensed, looking up and down the street.

  "Relax, man. The whoop-whoop is an ambulance, not a patrol car." Jacko started his motorcycle and rode off, flipping his middle finger in the air.

  Jacko, no matter how many hours he slept or didn't sleep, always remained in a good mood. Merk knew he wasn't the only one struggling with no sleep, because Jacko stayed up walking the apartment last night in his struggle to relax. Prison life continued punishing them both long after walking out of the Cyclone fence.

  He started his Harley and rode down the block. The curb at the back of the bar empty, except for Desi's Jeep. He backed his bike until the rear tire hit concrete.

  The siren, close enough to impair his hearing, stopped. A flash of red lights played off the Jeep parked to his left. He walked around the corner of the building and found a crowd gathered around the front door of the bar.

  Paramedics pushed a gurney through the displaced customers. Merk turned and jogged to the back of the building, unlocked the door, and ran up the steps to the bar.

  He beat the emergency team inside and came face to face with three cops surrounding Desi. The wail of pain coming from Desi stabbed his chest. His body tightened and ignoring the police, he stalked straight toward her.

  The deputy put his arm out to stop him. Merk lifted his chin. "Get out of my fucking way."

  Sheriff Colby stepped in front of Desi. Merk's instinct to go for his gun kicked in. He reached behind him. Nobody would take her from him.

  "Merk?" Desi stepped out from behind the sheriff and her face crumbled.

  Merk finished the last two steps and dragged her to his chest. She trembled and he held her closer, needing to protect her. "What happened?"

  "Pop," she whispered on a sob.

  The gurney rattled over the old wooden floor. Merk gazed after the paramedics unhurried progress into the back room.

  Whatever happened to Joe was past the point of making the situation an emergency. He cupped the back of Desi's head, holding her to his chest, and angled his body to keep the activity in the room from her view.

  "Desiree?" Sheriff Colby glanced at Merk before he continued. "We'll have your grandfather transported to Silver Valley Hospital where they'll make the official pronouncement. There's no obligation for you to come, unless you'd like."

  Desi raised her head and looked at Merk. "I don't want to go. I can't do it," she whispered.

  He smoothed the hair away from her face. "You don't have to go anywhere."

  Sheriff Colby nodded and backed away, motioning for his deputies to come with him. Desi laid her head back on his chest. He rubbed her back, supporting her weight. Death came whether a person was ready or not. In his circle, death always came early, usually following a crime that meant nothing and for a reason where pride stood before living.

  Joe's death devastated Desi. The soft noises coming from her mouth were dragged from the depths of Desi's heart. He tangled his fingers in her hair, securing her to him. The devastation left in Joe's wake scarred his granddaughter. The same way Roni's death shaped Jeremy into the man he'd become and pained Merk daily for not protecting his sister. He'd failed his nephew, because he'd been in prison when he needed someone the most and had no one.

  He'd sat in a cold, dank, filthy cell, because Desi ratted him out.

  "Merk?" Desi said on a sob.

  "What do you need? Name it and I'll get it for you." He kissed the top of Desi's head.

  "I-I don't know." She pulled away, looking around the empty room. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Pop did..."

  "Hey." He grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest. "Breathe."

  She nodded and sucked in air. Then, whatever thought passed through her head, she gasped. "I should've checked on him. I should've been here, but I was..."

  "Desi, you couldn't have known what was going to happen."

  Her gaze snapped to his and her jaw tightened. "I was with you."

  Fuck. He reached for her, and she backed away. In her turmoil, she grasped onto the first thing she could use to explain away the real reas
on Joe died.

  "Desi, you can't stop death."

  Her eyes, wild and desperate, argued with him. He wanted to take her back to last night, fix what happened, but shit would always happen. Hurt always came. Life continued, despite how much she fought to keep the moment. Again, his actions took him away when Desi needed him and she ended up hurt.

  "Have you slept?" he asked.

  Her mouth came open and snapped shut. She shook her head. "I need to...do something."

  "You can sort your shit later," he said.

  "No." She pointed behind him. "You need to leave."

  "I'm not leaving you."

  "What do you want me to say, Merk?" Her voice grew louder. "Pop's dead. He died alone, because I was out fucking you. If I'd been here, maybe I would've heard him or...or..."

  He moved forward and when she jolted, he held up his hands and kept his distance. She turned away and walked to the counter. Keeping Desi in his view, he pulled out his phone. If he lucked out, he'd catch Katie at her apartment in the Sterling Building and she could be here within minutes.

  "Merk?" answered Katie.

  "Yeah, it's me." He watched Desi wander to the pool table and run her finger along the felted surface. "I need you to do me a favor."

  "Anything."

  "You need to come to Rail Point Bar."

  "Sure." Katie paused. "Is everything okay? It's kind of strange for you to be working with my closest friend."

  "No, things aren't good here." He lowered his voice. "Desi's grandfather died this morning."

  "Joe? Oh, God." Katie gasped. "Poor Desi, I'll be there in a few minutes. I'm grabbing my purse. Does she need anything?"

  "A friend," he said.

  "Okay. Don't leave her alone and make sure she doesn't take off. Better yet, don't make her talk, just be there. Actually, watch her and give her room but don't let her leave the building. She won't be thinking straight. I can't believe this is happening. I'm walking out the door now," Katie said.

  "Hurry." Merk disconnected the call.