Struggling For Justice Read online

  She nodded. He might not like to hear her appreciation, but she was thankful nonetheless. Maybe he'd been right all along and she'd made the correct decision on attempting to teach a class in Federal. She definitely could use time away from Remmy to sort her thoughts and put a new plan into action. The physical exercise she'd use to teach would stamp out the desire for Remmy that plagued her. Maybe then, her rational thoughts that saved her ass more than once in the past would return.

  Chapter Seven

  Mike, the leader of the Lightfoot Militia group, stood at the rear of the cargo van holding the barrel of an AK47. Remmy widened his stance and waited for the inspection to finish. Mike had already gone through the rest of the arms he'd bought. From the smile on his face, he was pleased.

  "Looks solid." Mike handed the piece over to Don, another Lightfoot member. "Go ahead and close the crates, load everything, and hop in the van."

  Remmy shook Mike's hand. "I'll have a few Bantorus members ride out with you."

  "'Preciate it." Mike gazed over at the clubhouse. "Kurt around?"

  "Busy." Remmy hooked his fingers in his pocket. "He's making last minute arrangements for some of us to ride out to see our MC family in Pitnam for a few days."

  Mike rubbed his jaw. "Tell him I'll call him later before he leaves. With the militia's yearly rendezvous in August, I'd like to have some extra rifles around for individuals to purchase."

  "I don't see a problem." Remmy slapped Mike's shoulder. "We'll be back in plenty of time to complete the order."

  He motioned for Mutt, Crain, and Tim to follow the van. Once the van was off Bantorus property, he pulled out his cell and checked the time. Natalie had left early in the morning with Shari and Monica to have coffee in town and spread the word about her self-defense class. It was almost five o'clock.

  "Sawyer texted me while you were dealing." Ink handed him the phone.

  He read the message.

  Girls R shopping. Dicks stiff. It's hell. Bitches say no Sawyer honey. All bc Remmy's woman is a lady. B-shit. Back 2 club after they get done talking to Doris. Hate my life. Need to get fucked or I'll die.

  Remmy grinned and handed the cell back to Ink. "Remind me to give the girls a few extra bucks when they come back. They deserve it for putting Sawyer in his place for me."

  "Cruel, VP. Cruel." Ink laughed, bringing up a tattoo sleeved arm and wiping his forehead.

  Remmy walked back to the clubhouse with Ink beside him. He'd have to decide what to do with Natalie soon. As VP it was his job to protect his president's back, so he had to go on the trip. He also missed the first riders more than he thought he would after leaving Pitnam. It'd been a long fucking winter, and he needed a change of scenery.

  If the trip to Pitnam worked out, he wasn't comfortable leaving Natalie behind, though putting her on the back of his bike, again, wasn't going to happen. He enjoyed having a warm back, but he had to keep his distance. The last thing he wanted was an old lady.

  He opened the back door and entered the club.

  The savory scent of meat cooking filled the hallway. He sniffed, hunger hitting him. A hundred bucks said Risa decided to cook for everyone, knowing the club had a meeting tonight. She always made sure Kurt's belly was full and he was content, which meant they'd all have full stomachs before the night was through.

  A big meal was one benefit of having a woman around, though he doubt if Natalie's pampered lifestyle included working hard in the kitchen. She probably ate out at health bars in one of those private clubs she taught at before leaving Montana or joined her husband most evenings at some bar and grill. His gut tightened, and it wasn't from hunger. He hated thinking about her with a husband. From what he'd heard around town, the Robert Oman was a pushover. He'd fallen for Los Li's deal to get the land away from Bantorus MC and ultimately failed. That told him everything he needed to know about the guy.

  He smacked Ink's arm and lifted his chin. "Go tell prez we're done for the day with the militia, and I'll be there to talk with him in a minute."

  "Yeah, okay." Ink continued down the hall.

  Remmy turned into the kitchen, spotted Risa at the counter peeling potatoes. "Hey, you got a minute?"

  Risa looked up and smiled. "Sure. Come on in. I'm almost done, and then dinner will be ready when the meeting is over."

  He stood on the other end of the counter opposite Risa, swallowing hard and forcing himself to look her in the eyes and not on the scar running down her cheek. Her injuries were another mark on his back. He regretted not keeping her safe from Los Li. She could've died.

  That blame would stay with him forever, and if Risa knew who Natalie was, shit would blow. He had more truths than he wanted to carry, but luckily, Natalie never talked about her life prior to coming to the club with the other women, and they never asked. That's how life was in the club. The only thing that mattered was the day you became Bantorus property.

  "If I leave Natalie here with the Silver Girls when we head to Pitnam, do you think she'll be okay?" he asked.

  Risa raised her gaze. "As safe as any of us are here or in Pitnam. I trust the men looking after the Silver Girls, if that's what you're asking."

  He shook his head. "Will she fit in with the girls, seeing as how she's not one of them?"

  "Ah. That." Risa smiled. "She'll be fine. The girls seem to enjoy talking with her, and I think Natalie gives anyone a chance and doesn't judge them the way most women do."

  "Good." He rapped his knuckles against the counter and stepped back. "Thanks."

  "Hey." She wiped her hands off on the towel and walked around the counter, closer to him. "You're really going to leave your woman here while you travel?"

  "She's not my woman." He grimaced and shrugged. "I don't know what the hell I'm doing when it comes to her. Babysitting? Playing the part of a good citizen? Hell, I'm getting too old for this shit. Every season, something else happens to make me wonder if this is my last day. How far will I be pushed—?"

  "Pushed?" Risa laughed softly. "I imagine that's how Kurt felt riding into Federal and having me get in his face about staying in his building. He probably questioned if I was worth the trouble."

  "Kurt never doubted what he was doing," he said. "Besides, you were naked. He didn't stand a chance."

  Risa shook her head. "You men and your egos. Kurt had no idea what would happen between him and I. He might be your president, but he's a man. Granted, he's the best man in the world, but he's had his doubts, just like anyone else."

  "Don't let him hear you say that." He lowered his chin, holding her gaze. "He loves you, sweetheart."

  She placed her hand on his arm. "I never doubt his love. Now, tell me what's bothering you."

  He shrugged off her touch and retreated. "Thanks for talking."

  "Remmy..."

  He waved her off and walked out into the hallway. Hell, there was a lot going on. Sleeping next to Natalie, having her warm his side and every fucking other part of his body wore him out. He needed laid. He needed a couple hours to be himself with no responsibility, no ties, no desire to be good enough for one woman. The problem was, he only wanted Natalie and he was the last man she needed.

  The guilt of knowing Bantorus MC was responsible for Los Li's presence in Federal and their involvement in her husband's death would eat him alive if he took advantage of her. She already believed the worst and that her husband selfishly took his life, along with his brother. Nobody deserved to live with that lie. He owed her. The whole club owed her.

  He entered the main room of the club. The door on the other side of the room swung open, followed by raised feminine voices, and a flash of skin. A lot of bare skin.

  Natalie, surrounded by the bitches, strolled into the room smiling, tugging the strap holding her bikini top on, and talking to Shari. He stopped. His body jolted to attention and his cock throbbed.

  The cutoff jeans Natalie wore hung off her hipbones. Hipbones that protruded when she lay on her side, because every night he'd kept his hand on them.
He tilted his head, following her movements. Damn.

  Peeking over the waistband of her denim shorts a splash of black and purple caught his eye. Natalie had a tattoo. He fisted his hand, not liking the idea that she'd marked her body for another man. As quickly as the thought came, it left because the pinkish hue of a freshly made tattoo meant it was a recent piece of work.

  His gaze snapped to her face. He wanted to claim her and get the other girls away from her. She didn't know what she was doing marking her skin. She mourned her husband and lived in fear of losing what legally belonged to her. Why would she tattoo her body today? Had the other girls pressured her?

  She continued to talk to the girls and had no idea he was in the room. He took the time to ogle the rest of her, looking for anything different than his imagination already knew. Her breasts jiggled with her movements. He inhaled deeply, knowing they were more than enough to hold his head at night because he'd laid wide-awake two nights in a row thinking he'd sleep a lot better cushioned between her breasts.

  Cutter nudged him. "Hey."

  Ignoring his MC brother, he stalked straight toward Natalie. She looked up and smiled, and the sweetness hurt. He kept moving forward, backing her away from the group.

  She lost her smile and frowned. "What's wrong?"

  He placed his hands on the wall, pinning her in place. "What's with the ink?"

  "Oh." She put her hand on his stomach. "Did you see it?"

  "Fuck," he muttered. "I think everyone can see it in those clothes."

  She wiggled her shoulders self-consciously. "Shari let me borrow the outfit, since I need to do laundry and didn't have anything clean. Actually, all the girls donated clothes, so I could keep the few outfits that I already had for the classes I'm going to teach. I promised to pay them back after I deduct money out of my earnings for the rent I owe you."

  He lowered his face until he could smell the sweet scent of coconuts from the lotion she wore. "You're not paying rent or paying them back. That's how the club works."

  "But, I—"

  "Jesus, lady, what's the tattoo?" he said, gritting his teeth.

  Curiosity killed him. It was probably a memorial tattoo for her husband that would remind him every time he looked at it of what Bantorus brought down on her.

  Her chin lowered and she removed her hand from his body and pushed down the front of her shorts until the small indention on the inside of her hipbone showed. "See?"

  He tilted his head and inspected the tat. A purple dragonfly with two orange stripes hovered on her skin. The tight band around his chest loosened in relief. It was just a girly tattoo.

  "It looks real good, lady," he whispered.

  She carefully adjusted her shorts, letting the material settle on the tender skin. "The dragonfly represents me. Starting today, I'm going to keep flying, keep moving ahead, and keep looking toward the future. That's what I see when I look at the tattoo, because dragonflies fly, only hovering for mere seconds before soaring off again."

  He cupped the back of her neck, kissed her forehead, and smiled against her skin. "You did good, lady."

  "Thanks." She placed her hand on his stomach again. "I wanted flames under the dragonfly to show how much you've helped me, but the girls said that was a bad idea. Only old ladies can wear tattoos like the members, and since we're just friends and I wouldn't want to insult you or do something against the rules, I had Jonas—that's the man in town who did the tattoo—put orange stripes on the dragonfly to represent the color of fire. It's not really the same, but I know what it means, and that's all that matters. That's okay, right?"

  He pulled his head back and looked down into her worried face.

  "I mean, your flames are black, not orange. It's just the color that represents my life right now and how you supported me when I needed...a friend. I didn't tell the girls about the color thing, but I wanted you to know because it means a lot to me," she said, rushing out her explanation.

  "Me?"

  She nodded. "After the girls took me for coffee, we walked over to the community center and I have six women signed up to take the class. Six. Tomorrow, I'll find out if they enjoy what I can teach them and if they want to take more lessons. I'm excited. This could really work, and I'd have a way to support myself. All because of you."

  Her hand lowered and she hooked her fingers into the waist of his jeans. His balls ached. Her excitement, her touch, her willingness to accept the changes in her life, hell even the fact that she'd put the color orange on her dragonfly tattoo reached in and sucker punched his resolve to keep his distance. He cupped the back of her head with his hand and brought her forward, capturing her mouth. His cock pulsed and he dived right in, tasting her lips, her tongue, her breath.

  Every sensation perfect and irresistible.

  He eased back, but she bit down on his lower lip, keeping him close and he couldn't refuse. Pressing her against the wall, he bent his knees, sliding up her body, wishing she was on the floor and he could settle against her warmth why he tongued her mouth. He wanted her legs wrapped around him and her mouth begging for more.

  "Meeting," Kurt shouted.

  He groaned against her lips before separating. Holding her up, he stared down into her face. She blinked up at him with wet, swollen lips, a dark cast to her light colored eyes.

  "You okay?" he mumbled.

  She fingered her lips. "I-I..."

  "We don't have all night, brothers. Move it," Kurt said.

  "Damn..." Remmy searched for Risa, found her watching him, and motioned her over. "Stay with her. Do not let her out of your sight."

  Natalie stayed pressed against the wall, staring at him. There was no fear, no questions, no hesitation. What stared back at him was pure lust, and it killed him to walk away from the invitation.

  "I've got her, honey. Go to the meeting." Risa slipped her arm around Natalie's back. "Go on."

  He walked backward, not taking his gaze off Natalie. The best thing to do would be to shrug off the kiss and tell her he stepped out of line. Hell, he wasn't even close to going too far and needing to apologize. She was right there with him, feeling the same things, wanting the same result.

  It was the best damn kiss he'd ever had. The hunger she returned to him in the kiss surprised him, and only had him wanting more.

  She had no idea he'd taken advantage of her. She was fragile and emotional. The last thing she needed was a man from a motorcycle club who indirectly had her husband murdered in cold blood.

  He turned and walked into the meeting, shutting the door to the outside world, and Natalie. She deserved better.

  Chapter Eight

  The girls chatted, keeping the atmosphere carefree inside the clubhouse after the tense moment Natalie had with Remmy when he kissed her. Natalie sat in the chair Risa placed her in without any resistance. Lightheaded and nauseous, she pressed a hand to her stomach and wanted to disappear. Except Remmy ordered Risa to watch her, and the president's old lady was taking her job a little too seriously.

  "Breathe, honey." Risa rubbed Natalie's arm.

  She nodded, because the only thing keeping her upright in the chair was the short gasps keeping her conscious. What was she doing?

  Remmy had kissed her again, and it was nothing like the sweet kiss he gave her yesterday. She moaned, closing her eyes. God, he probably thought she was mental. She had no idea how to flirt, date, or kiss. She couldn’t even remember the last time Robert kissed her or what she was thinking while he was doing it.

  For years, she'd pretended her married life was normal, but her personal day-to-day living was anything but normal. It was odd, lonely, and many times, humiliating. She should never have let the girls talk her into wearing some skimpy outfit that a twenty-five year old girl would wear. She was forty years old. Too old to prance around getting a tattoo on a whim and feeling good about herself when everyone around her expected her to grieve.

  She squeezed her eyes closed to hide from the truth. Besides the night she found out what Robe
rt had done, she'd grieved. She'd grieved for success, absolutions, and lost time that could never be returned.

  After grieving, she'd wallowed in guilt, because it was the tremendous relief she felt no longer worrying constantly about the uncertainties of Robert's threats. Her feelings were selfish and wrong. She hated herself for feeling less stressful, and on an occasional hour, even happy being alone. What kind of person did that make her?

  "Do you want to talk about what's happening?" Risa asked.

  She shook her head. "It was a big mistake."

  "Remmy doesn't make mistakes." Risa smiled tenderly. "Sure, all the Bantorus men can do stupid things, but bikers don't do anything they'll regret, even if they should."

  "He kissed me," she mouthed, unable to admit the truth aloud.

  "Well, that, he did because he wanted to." Risa leaned forward. "Trust me, if he wanted to kiss you, he'll kiss you, and he won't make any excuses for it. Kurt's the same way. So, if you're wondering if he meant to turn your world upside down with that kiss he planted on you, he did."

  "Oh, God..." she said. "I kissed him back."

  Risa's smile grew bigger. "You're good for him. Remmy deserves a wonderful woman and—"

  "No." She put her hands on the table and glanced at the others. Although she had an audience, she had to tell them the truth. "It's only been eleven months since I-I lost my husband."

  Jojo reached across the table and squeezed her hand. "There's no time limit. Sometimes your body lets you know when you're ready before your brain clues you in. You can't plan who you'll meet or when or the feelings that develop. Besides, there's more than one person for everyone. Sometimes life sucks and when you get another chance to be happy with someone new, you grab him by the ass and hang on, honey."

  "Especially if it's a biker, because they'll never leave you lonely," Monica said. "You're not like us. We enjoy having fun with men, but for a woman like you and Risa, a man gives you their attention and you can bet your heart that they'll remain loyal."

  The Silver Girls were all crazier than she was to think Remmy would make a play for her.